It has been so long since I've posted that I'm not sure if I remember how! I've had a rough winter. Park hosting, where I had duties that were a physical challenge. Then Christmas, which ran into tax season. I'm so tired, feeling run down. I have increased physical pain. Chronic Fatigue is rampid throughout my body. I need time not to worry about anything and to rest. I want to give up preparing three meals a day and washing dishes by hand. I want to read the two stacks of books sitting on my floor saying, "Read Me!" Read Me!" Does this sound like I'm lazy? I'm getting small projects done that have waited for five months. I'm not getting enough rest during the day. I hope to rest more this week. My cognative abilities have deminished. With rest, I'm hoping it will improve. I think this negative post must end....Sorry

"Always Get Back Up On The Horse" Author Unknown

Each day when we woke, we had the opportunity to chose how our day would go. We ate anything we wished. We took a shower without assistance and we could stay in that shower 'til the hot water ran cold. We are wives and Mothers who took care of our home, raised our children and loved our husbands. Some worked outside of our home. We attended our children's sporting events and extra curricular activities. We paid the household bills, put gas in the car, did the grocery shopping, took the kids to doctor appointments and picked up prescriptions. We sewed on buttons and hemmed skirts. Family gatherings were our responsibility to plan and carry out. Did the bird feeder need filling? The garbage and recycling need to be put out? Don't forget to mail those bills. Family and friends received cards to celebrate their birthday, anniversary, a new baby or a life. Family pets must be fed, a drive to the Vet or to pick up their food, to mention a few.

Then one day we wake up and can't finish our shower because of the fatigue. Maybe the sensation of the water hitting our bodies feels like a million needles stabbing into our skin. Climbing upstairs is difficult to accomplish. We must climb half way, rest, then continue on. For some, different foods cause our pain to increase. We are unable to be on our feet long enough to make our kids' school lunches let alone make their breakfast. The dirty clothes are piling up. You rise from your chair and fall to the floor because of muscle weakness. You are afraid to drive for multiple reasons...you can't remember how to get to a location that you have driven to many, many times before. You are worried that your body will betray you before you can deliver your child to their football or play practice. Holidays are extremely difficult. It takes longer to accomplish tasks. Anxiety kicks in and confusion becomes evident. Cognitive issues are apparent to not only you, but to everyone you are in contact. You always remembered to acknowledge the birthday of others. It's on your calendar but you don't notice it until the day of, leaving your cards to be received late. You can't walk as far as you once did, leaving hikes with your family out of the question or a fun day of shopping. Volleyball games are to physical. To have a friend visit over a cup of tea is strenuous. Writing cripples your hand.

We must "always get back up on the horse" and put our best efforts forward. If we sit in pity, we can't ride.