It has been so long since I've posted that I'm not sure if I remember how! I've had a rough winter. Park hosting, where I had duties that were a physical challenge. Then Christmas, which ran into tax season. I'm so tired, feeling run down. I have increased physical pain. Chronic Fatigue is rampid throughout my body. I need time not to worry about anything and to rest. I want to give up preparing three meals a day and washing dishes by hand. I want to read the two stacks of books sitting on my floor saying, "Read Me!" Read Me!" Does this sound like I'm lazy? I'm getting small projects done that have waited for five months. I'm not getting enough rest during the day. I hope to rest more this week. My cognative abilities have deminished. With rest, I'm hoping it will improve. I think this negative post must end....Sorry

"Always Get Back Up On The Horse" Author Unknown

Each day when we woke, we had the opportunity to chose how our day would go. We ate anything we wished. We took a shower without assistance and we could stay in that shower 'til the hot water ran cold. We are wives and Mothers who took care of our home, raised our children and loved our husbands. Some worked outside of our home. We attended our children's sporting events and extra curricular activities. We paid the household bills, put gas in the car, did the grocery shopping, took the kids to doctor appointments and picked up prescriptions. We sewed on buttons and hemmed skirts. Family gatherings were our responsibility to plan and carry out. Did the bird feeder need filling? The garbage and recycling need to be put out? Don't forget to mail those bills. Family and friends received cards to celebrate their birthday, anniversary, a new baby or a life. Family pets must be fed, a drive to the Vet or to pick up their food, to mention a few.

Then one day we wake up and can't finish our shower because of the fatigue. Maybe the sensation of the water hitting our bodies feels like a million needles stabbing into our skin. Climbing upstairs is difficult to accomplish. We must climb half way, rest, then continue on. For some, different foods cause our pain to increase. We are unable to be on our feet long enough to make our kids' school lunches let alone make their breakfast. The dirty clothes are piling up. You rise from your chair and fall to the floor because of muscle weakness. You are afraid to drive for multiple reasons...you can't remember how to get to a location that you have driven to many, many times before. You are worried that your body will betray you before you can deliver your child to their football or play practice. Holidays are extremely difficult. It takes longer to accomplish tasks. Anxiety kicks in and confusion becomes evident. Cognitive issues are apparent to not only you, but to everyone you are in contact. You always remembered to acknowledge the birthday of others. It's on your calendar but you don't notice it until the day of, leaving your cards to be received late. You can't walk as far as you once did, leaving hikes with your family out of the question or a fun day of shopping. Volleyball games are to physical. To have a friend visit over a cup of tea is strenuous. Writing cripples your hand.

We must "always get back up on the horse" and put our best efforts forward. If we sit in pity, we can't ride.

My writings have been far and few between. I wish I could write daily. It was my intent when I started blogging. We have been busy and I've found it difficult to accomplish everything. Then at the end of the day when I would usually blog, I'm exhausted. I do check Facebook before blogging and that must be my downfall.

My Chronic Fatigue (CF) has been more active than usual. Falling asleep before 11 am is not how life should be. My night sleep has been great so not trying to catch up on my sleep.

I am having trouble with remembering situations of family and friends. I've always kept up with their birthdays, anniversaries, family situations and their health. I haven't been remembering anything. I'm not sure if that is connected with the CF flaring and my cognitive issues. It is common for Fibromyalgia and Chronic Fatigue sufferers to have problems with names and dates. I've had a few problems in that area, but this has gotten worse. I read an article that said that dealing with our pain is all we can do. Therefore, we place everything on the back burner that happens in our day or to our body, except trying to control our pain. Where once we were multitaskers, now we must deal with the pain being racked through our body.

I leave you with this thought:

"Happiness is where you find it."

Author Unknown

Awesome Friday!

My Friday, so far, has been awesome! My two grandsons are here for 3 days. It's an unexpected visit. There step-Dad's Mom is dying. Matt and Heather are with Matt's family spending time with Mom. She will pass soon. Matt is our grandsons' step-Dad, but he has raised them from a young age, so he is more like their Dad than their birth dad.

I enjoy these little men more than I can express. Patrick is 14, will be 15 in April. Josh is 12, his birthday is in July. They have been raised well. I know their parents are challenged by them at times, as it should be, but we are bless grandparents. We spent several hours on the beach yesterday. It was a beautiful day on the Oregon coast. Today we will attend a music night where many musicians gather for the love of music (Heather P you would enjoy Friday night music) and they play for two hours. Both boys are very musical. Patrick wants to play with them and he brought his guitar. Josh doesn't like to be looked at yet, so he will sit with me. They will see their great grandparents there and their great Aunt and Uncle. I'm excited to share them. :D

Saturday we will leave early and drive to Woodland, Washington. We will help move our youngest son and his family. They are moving to Vancouver, Washington. They have our 2 year old grandaughter, Lyla. So they will all have the day together. The boys live 8 hours across the state of Oregon from Adam and family so it's always a treat to get them together.

Will post photos when I get them transferred to my computer. I hope everyone has a good of day as I'm having. :-D I may not be worth a hoot on Monday, but that's ok!!!

Trying to Keep My Anxiety Controlled

We have had a couple of emotional days. I try to keep my anxiety under control. Yesterday it got the best of me.

Dwain's Dad has a dominating personality. He has the need to constantly talk, all the while making no sense. He had some sourdough. I said I might make sourdough bread the next day. Well, I made sourdough biscuits the next day and they did not turn out. Now, it took an hour to prepare and cook the biscuits. After that I lost the desire for bread. My friend Marie came for an unexpected visit, so would not have had the time for bread preparation in time for dinner. The next day, while Dwain was talking to his Dad, he asked how the bread turned out. When Dwain told him that I did not make bread, he exploded and was angry. It upset Dwain. Because I have also experienced Dad's rath in the past, it upset me too. He cares about himself and does not consider others have opinions.

Our son-in-law, Matt's Mom is on life support. Matt and family will leave early Thursday morning to drive the eight hour trip to his parents. When they have said their goodbyes, she will be taken off life support. We will meet them and our grandsons will come home with us through the weekend. I feel guilty that I'm excited to see the boys when their Dad is loosing his Mom.

I know there are many more problems in the world, but right now these personal issues are increasing my stress level and in return my Fibro pain has increased. I'm hoping for a good night sleep. I haven't had problems sleeping since I've been on Trazodone to help me sleep....so thankful.

I have accomplished several projects in our home. Feels good to accomplish something. :-D

Solve Problems

"Solve Problems Instead Of Making Them Worse"

For those of us with Fibromyalgia/Chronic Fatigue (FM/CF), dealing with daily tasks are tricky. We must take each situation and make it easier, helping our body to cope. To follow are a few examples.

My sink is lower than is comfortable for me. I open the cabinet door and place my foot on the facing. The facing is about six inches higher than the floor. If I have a lot of dishes, I alternate feet, taking pressure off my lower back.

An Occupational Therapist suggested (if I had dishwasher), instead of bending over to close the dishwasher door, use my foot to bring the door closed. Here again helping the lower back.

Electric can openers will save your hands.

Adjustments to daily tasks can take pressure off your body. When we do not adjust, our pain increases. Quite often anxiety will then enter the picture.

I need Help

I have a problem with what my post looks like after I click on "Publish Post." The published post looks different visually than what I write. My last post is a good example...

I am a stickler for what I write to "look good." When I look at my published post, the spacing is irregular. Sometimes there is a space between what I wrote and sometimes there is not a space.

I need HELP...do I need to leave Blogspot or is there a magic button I haven't clicked?

Thanks!

Grab Happiness

"Grab Happiness In The Passing Moments of Life"

Having a chronic illness or two, it is easy for depression to creep into our lives. We will have days that our self esteem is low. This is because we hurt, our balance is off, our eyes won't focus, etc. When you live with these symptoms, of which I only mentioned a few, you can become depressed. My suggestion is to "grab happiness in the passing moments" of your life. They may be short moments or something you can enjoy for longer periods of time. Here are some ideas:

Watch the sun rise or set

Listen to music you enjoy

Look at a flower. Have you ever looked closely at a Dandelion? It's a weed, but it's beautiful!

Take a walk

Look at a smile

Be aware of birds singing

Watch a small child learning to walk

Ice Cream?

Enjoy pet therapy

A good meal

Read a good book

Be aware and grab happiness where ever you can. You won't regret becoming aware of happy moments!

Need Extra Batteries???

I recently read, "Keep a stash of extra batteries." They were referring to keeping extra batteries in case of an emergency. I often think that "MY" batteries run down.

Fibromyalgia/Chronic Fatigue depleats your energy faster than you can blink. Well, maybe not that fast, but faster than most people could understand. Not only is your energy depleted, but because of a malfunction of the central nervous system, the pain is unbearable. You must learn what works for you to regain your strength and what takes the edge off your pain. For me, rest replenishes my physical and emotional strength. Prescription medication helps with my pain.

So...do you have an endless supply of batteries? When you are run down, exhausted, with no strength to continue, how do you replenish your energy?

We Are In The Same Boat

"We may live on separate shores, but in the end, we're all in the same boat"

Author Unknown


Isn't this the truth? I enjoy communicating on Facebook. I keep up with my friends and family. Part of my friends group, are those with chronic diseases like Fibromyalgia, Chronic Fatigue, Lupus, Lime Disease, Sjogrens and Rheumatoid Arthritis, just to name a few. These friends are scattered throughout the world! I talk with people from South Africa, England, Japan and all over the United States. We live on "separate shores" but we're all in the same boat." We share the unimaginable life of chronic pain. No one understands our pain and the obstacles we face daily as well as another. We become a family. I thank God every day for my computer and the ability to communicate with my brothers and sisters in the same boat.