Wednesday, January 30, 2013

A Note From Dwain

Hi, I am Debbie's husband, Dwain.

Some of you have asked how I, as the spouse of a person with Fibro copes with it all. I think its because I am very patient with regard to my wife. I am also the type of person who keeps comments to myself, MOST of the time. I am human too so I will vent but I usually control it. The only piece of advice my father-in-law gave me the day we were married was "make no assumptions." That has been a valuable piece of advice. Another thing about me is that I am not judgemental about what other people do, say, like, or, whatever. Again this is most of the time. I think that all these things together help me deal with my wife's situation.

With regard to considering what Deb is doing to deal with her pain and discomfort from Fibro, I ask myself if I were uncomfortable, what would I do about it. The answer is "what ever makes me feel better." I don't always agree with some of the things she tries, but if she says they may help her feel better, who am I to say they don't. Deb takes a lot of pills, all of them prescribed by her doctor. I once swallowed her morning doses when the cups that she puts our medications in were reversed and I was in a hurry to get to work. Those pills knocked me out for a full day. If she needs meds that are that powerful to get through her day, I guess I can back off a little.

Deb is a very strong willed person, you might call it stubborn. She has her way of doing things and isn't always flexible about changes. Our forty years of marriage has taught us both how to deal with that, and it sums up in that we are both patient and tolerant of our personal traits.

Down But Not Out

It has been since mid-June, 2012 that I posted on my blog. It seems like an eternity. I thought about posting often. But my sense of duty to the RV park we were managing, overwhelmed me. My Type A personality kicked into full gear and that is all I did. The little angel on my right shoulder kept saying, "Slow down, you will have a flare from hell." The little devil on my left shoulder said, "You have so many things yet to accomplish. Don't stop to rest or you will never get it all done." So I pushed myself until I had to sit down. I never rested long. When the summer season was over, I felt true relief. There were many things I did not complete, feeling like I wasn't doing a good job. Fibromyalgia is a little like the devil on my left shoulder. He is always pushing, never surrendering. He is a formative foe.

We left Wallowa and the RV park the end of September headed for Vancouver, Washington. Now to have time with Adam, Carrie and Granddaughter, Lyla. During our stay, our truck was stolen from a JC Penney's parking lot. We eventually got the truck back, minus contents. We were pleased the thieves did not hurt the truck except a broken window, the locks and ignition were damaged and needed replaced. Besides the contents, they took our 5th wheel hitch and extra gas tank/tool box. Our insurance company worked to get us back in business. Could not pull the 5th wheel without a truck. :-(

Mid-December, we drove to the coast to prepare for Christmas and family arrivals. After the first of the year we headed south, which brings us to today.

My Fibromyalgia symptoms have increased through the stress of working at the RV park and the loss of our truck. I realized that I put the stress of the park on myself. I had a choice. I felt I needed to complete everything that needed to be done. In actuality, I was only expected to do what I could. I felt a lot of guilt about the loss of the truck because I was the one driving it on the day it was stolen. I had done everything right, but....

We are now in Quartzsite, Arizona, soaking up warm rays of sunshine. It has been cold at night, but blue sky and warm daily. I am also catching up with chores that need to be done. I'm slow, but that's ok. I took two naps today. I think I'm going to be fine.  :-D

I read the comments since my last post and promise to address them asap.

Yes, I Can ... work on not putting stress upon myself.

Yes, I Can ... enjoy this time in Arizona as a vacation and relax

Thursday, June 14, 2012

I wish I could find the time to write. I miss writing. Writing is like talking to a friend. My emotions and the happenings of my day dictate what I write and how I write.

Tonight, my thoughts are bouncing from one thought to another. Not focusing.

We had interesting weather today. I woke up at 6:30 and it was near 70 degrees and blue sky. By dinner time it was raining, thunder and lightening.

We were planning to go to Josh's baseball game, but by 3:30 it was cancelled.

Heather and Matt will be traveling to Salem on Wednesday to spend time with Jeff. He graduates from high school the end of this week. Patrick and Josh will be staying with us. Better stock up on groceries to feed two teenage boys. :-D

I haven't been good at keeping up my journal, my home nor my duties in the RV park...I am failing miserably. This is not easy for a type A personality. Damn disease! I'm trying to be "OK" with the amount I do accomplish rather than frustrated with what I can not do. Wish me luck please!

Sunday, May 13, 2012

Anonymous Comment

I would like to share a comment I received on my last post. The first four comments were supportive. The last comment was the first negative reaction I have received. 
'us fibromites'.... there's such a self-pitying group-y tone to all this. Oh, it must be really difficult for you if a page changes shape or colour...

I can understand why moving house or changing jobs might be difficult for people who are ill, but seriously? You need an adjustment period because a webpage changed? I think thinking of yourself as a 'fibromite' who can't cope with anything can't help you to get on with life."

Ms or Mr Anonymous, I would like you to know that you have ruffled my feathers. If you had said these words face to face with me, we would have been in a heated discussion. I can only assume that you are on a Fibromyalgia site because you either have Fibro or someone close to you does. I suggest if you are friends or family of someone who has this chronic disease, that you begin at the beginning and read through my blog. In the beginning, I list my Fibromyalgia symptoms. If you have Fibro, you may recognize similar symptoms and realize that you have a friend who understands. If you know someone with the disease, maybe you will be more sympathetic. You may realize that others have the same symptoms and she is not crazy or that they have a disease with the right to be "self-pitying" periodically. In case you have not noticed, this blog is about MY journey with Fibromyalgia. If you do not have a positive comment, please do not leave one. If you do not understand Fibro, I am wide open to field questions.

YES you can ..... be patient and kind, eliminating negativity.
YES you can ..... be sensitive to others.

Monday, April 23, 2012

Update (brain will not help with a clever title)

So I sign into my blog and find out there is a new look. I hate change!!! I think it is because I must adjust. Adjusting is difficult for a Fibromite. I hope the adjustment period won't take long.

We have had beautiful weather the last few days. Thunder storms  in the evenings. I enjoy the sound.  :-D

Our Miss Lyla spent a week with us. We sure enjoyed her. She enjoys taking every minute of your day and I enjoyed being with her. I had to give up household duties, including fixing dinner, while she was here. I didn't have extra time. You can imagine how it stacked up around here. She is a delight and worth every minute.

My doctor ordered another round of antibiotics for my bladder infection. My intestinal track is sore,  but the infection may be gone.

I started a weekly Bible Study on David. I think I will enjoy the lessons. I've met many new friends. Heather is also attending. It will be nice to spend an evening with her without husbands and kids.

The Park is coming along. The new owners arrived for a week.We are enjoying getting to know them.

I had a mini breakdown last week. The combination of over working my body and the stress of alot to accomplish in the park and in my home. Dwain didn't help much. He was having a rough couple of days too.

Hugs to everyone!

Yes you can ... learn how to use a new program.

Yes you can ... stand strong to up to the minute challenges

Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Winter is Not Over!

"Winter Weather Advisory"

Gotta "cold" sound to it doesn't it? We are expecting four days of snow. I'm hoping that the forecast changes drastically...quickly. It was in the 20's last night. Today was warm. The snow-covered mountains are beautiful.

We are now managing an RV park in Wallowa, Oregon, located in NE Oregon. Lots to due before visitors arrive. More cleaning than I expected. So taking one step at a time. Dwain has the grounds looking good. If it snows hard, we may have a day off! :-D

My UTI is not clearing up. They sent my "sample" for culture. The nurse said she would call me on Monday, but has not. I will call her tomorrow morning. I gotta get rid of this nuisance. It's dragging me down.

Our granddaughter, Lyla, will arrive for five days on Sunday afternoon. Looking forward to our time together.

Our daughter, Heather, called tonight and invited me to attend a Women's Bible Study with her. I think I will enjoy the time together. The ladies are from different churches within Wallowa County and meet once a week.

My bed is calling. I hope everyone has a good sleep tonight.

Yes, I can ..... breathe deeply to help relax

Yes, I can ..... dress in layers to keep myself warm

Monday, April 2, 2012

Just Close Your Eyes

I had a revelation about a month ago. Been practicing and found that the revelation WORKS!!!
Have I got your attention?

Fibromyalgia messes with my cognitive abilities. The symptom does not discriminate. It can intrude while I'm speaking, writing or while I'm trying to have a quiet moment, thinking. My mind will go blank while trying to think of the right word. I know the word I'm trying to say. I can tell you what letter it begins with. I can see the word written in my thought. I just can't get the word out of my mouth, on paper or in my thought.

When I was working for an attorney, I began to switch words while typing. The word I switched the most was "court." I would type "could" in place of "court." When you are doing a legal document, the word must be correct. You can't replace "court" with "could."

One day while talking with Dwain, I could not speak the word to complete my sentence. I closed my eyes and began to speak. I was able to complete the story. Each time I have difficulty conveying my words, I close my eyes and wha-la! I can complete the sentence. Although I am ecstatic to complete thoughts, I'm sure Dwain is happy too. This has been hard on his patience. He has learned to wait. However, once in awhile, he snaps at me to complete the sentence. So I know it is frustrating for him. I feel bad enough without his snaps. My self esteem lowers a notch.

Soooooo, if you have this Fibromyalgia symptom, try closing your eyes. I hope you can complete your story, your written word or your thoughts.

Yes, you can ..... complete your expression

Yes, you can ..... learn new technique,s no matter your age

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Back in Wallowa

Our time in Arizona is over for another year. I sure miss the warm sunshine. Today I got cold to the bone. Getting this cold messes with my Fibro. So, I'm in my recliner with my heating blanket on my back.

Our winter went by fast. We parked in a different area this year . Our neighbors were hard to get to know. If we return to the Yuma area, we will stay near our friends of years past. The desert was cooler this winter. The wind blew almost every day.

My Fibromyalgia has been difficult. I've had increased movement courtesy of my Restless Leg Syndrome. The scary feeling of Anxiety has increased daily. I'm still trying to talk myself down, but it is getting more difficult. I had a UTI (Urinary Tract Infection) on our way home from Arizona. It's been almost a week since I've taken the last of my medication. I'm not having symptoms, so hope the infection is totally gone. In the beginning, I had the usual UTI symptoms. I also had increased Fibro pain through my hips and upper legs. I had a hard time dealing with the pain but after three days the increased pain was gone.

Dwain and I have taken a summer job. Wish me luck! I'm hoping once we have been here for a couple of weeks, we will be ready for the public. We are managing an RV Park. There are 31 sites, so not too big. We have stayed in the Wallowa River RV Park many a summer. The owners live in Seattle, WA. Care takers are needed for the time they are not in the park. Which will be most of the summer.

Enough babbling.

Sunday, March 11, 2012

My Position in Space

I had a few boxes stacked in the kitchen. I thought they were out of my way. I was clearing the dishes from the table, turned left and Crash! Boom! And I tripped over the boxes. Of course they all tumbled with me. I'm ok, but bruised my left leg and strained the muscles on my upper left arm. I have trouble with the position in the space that I occupy. Usually it is because I do not think, I just go. This "little" problem has caused me any falls. My brain forgets to worry about where I'm going. I see this as an aspect of Fibro Fog.

We have had a nice three months in southern Arizona and California. We had more wind in Yuma than usual. A couple we graduated high school with, Tom and Marlys, joined us for a week. The four of us then traveled to Anzo-Borrego State Park in southern California. There is so much to see. I encourage everyone to visit this park. They have campgrounds as well as boondocking areas.

We have thoroughly enjoyed our time with Tom and Marlys. They are "good people." Marlys has a medical issue that requires her to take rests, so that helps me to rest myself. Tomorrow Dwain and Tom will be taking a hike in the park. They are hoping to see Big Horn Sheep. Marlys and I are going to the town of Julian. I understand there are unique shops with an apple theme. I hear their pies are to die for, so we will test that piece of information. :-D

Wednesday we will begin our trek north. We want to be in Wallowa by April 1st. We may take a day or two at Joshua Tree National Park before arriving in Apple Valley to visit friends. A nice amenity of receiving Social Security Disability is that campgrounds on government land are half price via my "Access Pass." We also enter the park for free. What a blessing. Living on a fixed income can be tough at times.

Yes you can ... renew old friendships

Yes you can ... enjoy camping with Fibromyalgia

Friday, March 2, 2012

Enjoying our visit with high school friends. Yesterday we drove the "loop" of Yuma and pointed out locations we thought they would be interested in. We had lunch at Lute's, always an interesting experience. My stomach hurt as we were driving home. Iwent to bed early. It's ok today. I'm sure it was because I was in the backseat and Dwain had to hit the brakes hard several times.

Today the wind has been blowing 40 mph so it is an inside day. Got a few things done. It has been a relaxing day. We will have desert with Tom and Marlys.

I have cornish game hens in the oven and they smell good. mmmmm

My eyes have been feeling out of sorts this afternoon. They feel warm and are fuzzy. Gotta blink a couple times to clear the fuzzies. :-) Yes, Fibromyalgia can touch every part of your body.

I will be making changes to my blog page. I will enter widgets that I lost with Blogger's deletions. Also, my photographer husband, no longer sells his photography on Imagekind. We've decided to leave the photos for purchase on my blog.