Tuesday, November 30, 2010

"God Knows What He Is Doing"

"God Knows What He Is Doing"

Dolly Parton

I watched The Nat Berkus Show this morning. His guest was Dolly Parton. As she spoke to a gentleman who lost his wife during childbirth, she made the above quote as part of their conversation. When I heard the quote I immediately thought about myself dealing with Fibromyalgia. I'm sure most of us have wondered why the Good Lord gave us this disease. Because there is no cure, we are left to cope with a variety of symptoms as long as my arm.
I go on blind faith that God knows what he is doing.

Sunday, November 28, 2010

Saturday, November 27, 2010

I need to apologize upfront...I need a "bitch post."

The last several weeks have been difficult. My cognitive is in left field. I can tell by looking at Dwain's face that he is getting tired of trying to understand me. I can't blame him. It's frustrating for me also. He will never truly understand how much.

The work we do in the park includes cleaning Yurts. We clean Yurts minimum four days a week. My neck, arms, wrists, shoulders and remaining back area are aggravated. I have had strong cramping in my back. Only way to have them relax is for Dwain to massage the cramping area. I'm thankful that he understands my mime because sometimes it hurts to bad to speak. We only have two weeks left at the park and I will be glad to move on.

I am sleeping well, which is helpful (thank you Trazodone!), even when I can't feel that it helps. This is a typical complaint with Fibromyalgia patients.

Fibromyalgia is playing havoc with my broken finger. Most of the time, it feels like it is healing. Then my finger will feel different sensations like burning and aching. The burning is a Fibro sensation. The aching may be Fibro or just that it is broken. Who knows! I still can't use it. Who knew that little pinky did so much!

My IBS is starting to raise its ugly head. Right now I'm managing well but I can tell it is just on the edge of blowing up. I'm sure it is from over working my body and the stress of the holiday season.

Christmas is coming. I've done very little shopping. My stomach is starting to turn...no gifts purchased and wrapped, haven't figured out menus for the time kids will be home.

I can't get ahead, let alone even.

Dwain has been snappy. I feel I'm walking on egg shells. My reaction is to tense, causing additional pain.

I can't move very fast. Seems everything happens in slow motion. So frustrating.

On a happy note. I have an appointment to get my haircut. That will be nice.

A second happy note...a former classmate was in the park today...Bill Potter. We visited nearly an hour. It was nice to see him.

A third happy note....Had a wonderful telephone visit with Lyla. How happy she is. I also did texting with Patrick and Joshua. I spoke with Seth briefly on Friday and Adam and Heather on Saturday.

Glad to be able to pour out some frustrations.

Friday, November 19, 2010

Leave The Rest To God

Live Simply
Love Generously
Care Deeply
Speak Kindly
Leave The Rest To God
I received this quote (author unknown) as a part of an email from a friend. We should strive to follow this advice. I believe "Leave The Rest To God" is difficult for some. If I leave me worries and troubles to God, I have less stress. The physical act of "letting go" is different than merely thinking about it. It takes practice. I'm so much better at letting go after a lifetime of practice. I hope my children will be able to give their worries to God sooner.
In relation to my Fibromyalgia and Chronic Fatigue, living simply, loving generously, caring deeply and speaking kindly, all provide my illnesses a better chance of "laying low."
Learning to "Live Simply" has brought its challenges. I must break down my life to short, simple experiences but enjoy them to the fullest. I can no longer participate in outside activities as I once did. I must be more selective, rather than trying to accomplish more than I can handle.

Saturday, November 13, 2010

Wrinkles Don't Hurt!

"There is always a lot to be thankful for
if you take the time to look.
For example,
I'm sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don't hurt."
Bet you can't think of a good reason for weight gain. My Mother-in-Law told me not to worry about the weight I was gaining. She said the weight filled in any wrinkles I may have, "If you loose weight you may have wrinkles." I was so lucky to have her in my life, the lives of my children and their children. I am thankful for the best Mother-in-law.
Mother-in-Laws and Wrinkles Don't Need To Hurt
Today is a rainy day. What's to be thankful about the rain? The rain waters the grass, foliage and trees. It makes the "green" greener, flowers bloom and rivers run deeper. The sound of the rain on our roof is comforting. Rain is relaxing for me. I am thankful for the rain.
Rain Does Not Hurt
My dog Lucy provides lap therapy. She loves me unconditionally and I her. Lucy does not lick my face, she bumps it with her nose....sometimes a lot. :D She tries to protect me. She doesn't know she is only nine pounds. I'm one of her favorite people friends. She provides me with endless comic relief. I am thankful for Lucy.
Lucy Does Not Hurt
Dwain is playing his harmonica, learning a new song. Because of my proximity to him, the sounds is shrill. Fibromyalgia increases my hearing sensitivities. When I hear him play from a distance, I can appreciate his musical talent and I am thankful.
Music Does Not Hurt
I have Fibromyalgia and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. I have pain throughout my body. I choose to live my life the best I can. Yes, I do not sleep but 1.5 hours a night. I always remember to take my sleep medication. Yes, I have IBS, but have learned how to control it. Yes, I have Restless Leg Syndrome and am fortunate not to know when I am kicking Dwain. Yes, I have hearing and visual sensitivities, but I have learned how to cope. Yes, I am always fatigued. Remembering to pace myself is an on going battle.
Fibromyalgia and Chronic Fatigue DOES Hurt
So be thankful for everything you have or wished you didn't have. There is a silver lining for everything. If you choose NOT to see it and let Fibromyalgia and Chronic Fatigue plunge you to the depth of despair, you loose.
Loosing DOES Hurt