Wednesday, January 30, 2013

A Note From Dwain

Hi, I am Debbie's husband, Dwain.

Some of you have asked how I, as the spouse of a person with Fibro copes with it all. I think its because I am very patient with regard to my wife. I am also the type of person who keeps comments to myself, MOST of the time. I am human too so I will vent but I usually control it. The only piece of advice my father-in-law gave me the day we were married was "make no assumptions." That has been a valuable piece of advice. Another thing about me is that I am not judgemental about what other people do, say, like, or, whatever. Again this is most of the time. I think that all these things together help me deal with my wife's situation.

With regard to considering what Deb is doing to deal with her pain and discomfort from Fibro, I ask myself if I were uncomfortable, what would I do about it. The answer is "what ever makes me feel better." I don't always agree with some of the things she tries, but if she says they may help her feel better, who am I to say they don't. Deb takes a lot of pills, all of them prescribed by her doctor. I once swallowed her morning doses when the cups that she puts our medications in were reversed and I was in a hurry to get to work. Those pills knocked me out for a full day. If she needs meds that are that powerful to get through her day, I guess I can back off a little.

Deb is a very strong willed person, you might call it stubborn. She has her way of doing things and isn't always flexible about changes. Our forty years of marriage has taught us both how to deal with that, and it sums up in that we are both patient and tolerant of our personal traits.

Down But Not Out

It has been since mid-June, 2012 that I posted on my blog. It seems like an eternity. I thought about posting often. But my sense of duty to the RV park we were managing, overwhelmed me. My Type A personality kicked into full gear and that is all I did. The little angel on my right shoulder kept saying, "Slow down, you will have a flare from hell." The little devil on my left shoulder said, "You have so many things yet to accomplish. Don't stop to rest or you will never get it all done." So I pushed myself until I had to sit down. I never rested long. When the summer season was over, I felt true relief. There were many things I did not complete, feeling like I wasn't doing a good job. Fibromyalgia is a little like the devil on my left shoulder. He is always pushing, never surrendering. He is a formative foe.

We left Wallowa and the RV park the end of September headed for Vancouver, Washington. Now to have time with Adam, Carrie and Granddaughter, Lyla. During our stay, our truck was stolen from a JC Penney's parking lot. We eventually got the truck back, minus contents. We were pleased the thieves did not hurt the truck except a broken window, the locks and ignition were damaged and needed replaced. Besides the contents, they took our 5th wheel hitch and extra gas tank/tool box. Our insurance company worked to get us back in business. Could not pull the 5th wheel without a truck. :-(

Mid-December, we drove to the coast to prepare for Christmas and family arrivals. After the first of the year we headed south, which brings us to today.

My Fibromyalgia symptoms have increased through the stress of working at the RV park and the loss of our truck. I realized that I put the stress of the park on myself. I had a choice. I felt I needed to complete everything that needed to be done. In actuality, I was only expected to do what I could. I felt a lot of guilt about the loss of the truck because I was the one driving it on the day it was stolen. I had done everything right, but....

We are now in Quartzsite, Arizona, soaking up warm rays of sunshine. It has been cold at night, but blue sky and warm daily. I am also catching up with chores that need to be done. I'm slow, but that's ok. I took two naps today. I think I'm going to be fine.  :-D

I read the comments since my last post and promise to address them asap.

Yes, I Can ... work on not putting stress upon myself.

Yes, I Can ... enjoy this time in Arizona as a vacation and relax