Saturday, November 27, 2010

I need to apologize upfront...I need a "bitch post."

The last several weeks have been difficult. My cognitive is in left field. I can tell by looking at Dwain's face that he is getting tired of trying to understand me. I can't blame him. It's frustrating for me also. He will never truly understand how much.

The work we do in the park includes cleaning Yurts. We clean Yurts minimum four days a week. My neck, arms, wrists, shoulders and remaining back area are aggravated. I have had strong cramping in my back. Only way to have them relax is for Dwain to massage the cramping area. I'm thankful that he understands my mime because sometimes it hurts to bad to speak. We only have two weeks left at the park and I will be glad to move on.

I am sleeping well, which is helpful (thank you Trazodone!), even when I can't feel that it helps. This is a typical complaint with Fibromyalgia patients.

Fibromyalgia is playing havoc with my broken finger. Most of the time, it feels like it is healing. Then my finger will feel different sensations like burning and aching. The burning is a Fibro sensation. The aching may be Fibro or just that it is broken. Who knows! I still can't use it. Who knew that little pinky did so much!

My IBS is starting to raise its ugly head. Right now I'm managing well but I can tell it is just on the edge of blowing up. I'm sure it is from over working my body and the stress of the holiday season.

Christmas is coming. I've done very little shopping. My stomach is starting to gifts purchased and wrapped, haven't figured out menus for the time kids will be home.

I can't get ahead, let alone even.

Dwain has been snappy. I feel I'm walking on egg shells. My reaction is to tense, causing additional pain.

I can't move very fast. Seems everything happens in slow motion. So frustrating.

On a happy note. I have an appointment to get my haircut. That will be nice.

A second happy note...a former classmate was in the park today...Bill Potter. We visited nearly an hour. It was nice to see him.

A third happy note....Had a wonderful telephone visit with Lyla. How happy she is. I also did texting with Patrick and Joshua. I spoke with Seth briefly on Friday and Adam and Heather on Saturday.

Glad to be able to pour out some frustrations.


  1. Hey Deb. Yes my FM is pretty bad. Last night and today. I think I am done for the week. Stress does not help this.I understand your frustration. Thank goodness for understanding partners.

  2. you just go ahead and let it out when you need to. I do hope your FM and your IBS start to behave better. don't worry so much about shopping, you have many days left. As for the menus, that can be done when you are feeling better too. Just try to take it easy on yourself. don't try to do too much. I am glad Dwain is helpful for massages even if he doesn't totally understand the pain you are going through. I hope this week is much better for you.

  3. Hi Deb, oh I feel your pain, its bad to have this damn syndrome, but good to have friends here who understand. Carl is pretty good but he has days that I know he wants his 'old' wife back, me before Fibro. Who would have thought that the F word would be Fibro for us. My feet burn something awful at times...I don't know how else to explain it other than burning. Glad Dwain is there to massage your back, friend. And you will be onto another adventure soon.
    Can you do some shopping online?? Just a thought.
    Vent anytime, ya hear!
    hugs and love

  4. Thanks ladies...I'm sooooo glad you are here. I've been trying to shop online today but soooo slow

  5. Praying for you Deb:)Some days I think there has GOT to be a way to get rid of this stupid fibro. but alas, it is still here:( Hope you can take it easy when you are done at the park. I clean houses, so I can totally relate to how hard it is on your body~especially having a body that seems to rebel at the slightest thing!

  6. I am so glad that I found your Blog. I still have a hard time thinking this is real. I hate the limits Fibro puts on my life. I know that we all have a use to do list. I don't want to give in but the choice has been taken away from me. I have great husband and grown children that try to understand. I know that it is hard for them too. Thank You again for your Blog.
    Hope and Prayers

  7. Kim, thanks for the prayers

    Shabby, I'm glad you found my blog too! There are so many fascets to this disease. When you feel like you have reconciled with one, you have 100 more. We can only take care of them one at a time.