Anxiety is Creeping into my Body

High School classmates will be here late afternoon. Looking forward to their visit, but anxiety is increasing as my morning progresses. We live in a 37' Fifth Wheel and it is a mess. I'm having trouble knowing where to start to make it presentable. Others may think it is ok, but not me (My Type A Personality at work). I wish I could say it is ok not to have the dishes and floors done, toilet scrubbed, bed made, etc. And you ask "why is she on the computer? Just do it!!"

I needed to get the March monthly bills posted online so they could be paid on time. I had done all but two last night. While posting I could feel my anxiety kick up another notch. Decided to write about it here, hoping it will help slow me down. I keep hearing my oldest son's voice, "Talk yourself down Mom. You can handle this, just calm yourself." Until today I've been able to hear his voice and advice and calm down. Tears are flowing, sniffling. CRAP!!!! I better get off the computer and breathe.

I promise to tell the end of this story later.

It's evening and I survived my melt down. Our friends arrived. We had a good visit and shared dinner. Tomorrow we will take them sight seeing.

You may wonder why I entitled this post "Anxiety is Creeping into my Body." That is how I was feeling at the time. The feelings of emotion take a grip, my breathing becomes labored and the grip continues to become more intense. So I feel like I'm being smothered as it takes over my body.

Thank you for listening today.

Relaxing Day

I had a nice day! Happy to be able to say that after the last few days.

We went into town early this morning to pick up my monthly prescriptions and got groceries. After returning to the desert, we went to visit a couple we met while playing music on Sundays. Dwain has been giving Pearl dulcimer lessons. I visited with her husband Roy. Nice folks, nearing 80. I dream of living to their age and wish I could be in as good of shape mentally and physically.

When we came home I did a few chores, laid down for about an hour. When I got up I had a snack and worked on a crossword puzzle. I didn't like the idea of fixing dinner, but we all know that dinner needed to be made. After dinner, I posted our March 1st bills to be paid. So...I was able to accomplish a few things, but the day was relaxed.

My shoulder muscles have been so tight. There is an advertisement for massage for $35 for an hour. I'm tempted to schedule an appointment.

Two high school classmates will arrive on Tuesday afternoon. Looking forward to their visit.

Oh! I wanted to mention that we have cooked two meals and one dessert in our solar oven. They all turned out yummy. Doing a roast tomorrow. :-D

So nice to write about happenings in my day and not be crabby.


Yes you can ... share your skills with neighbors

Yes you can ... have a relaxing dayR

Thursday we purchased a solar oven, pots and pans included. We used it today, baking a torte, then meat loaf and baked potatoes. The potatoes needed more time. The torte and meat loaf were good. Because you cook outside, it keeps the house cooler. We spend the summer in eastern Oregon and the sun shines nicely while we are there. We grill often in the summer, so this will give us a variety. My Fibro appreciates not having added heat in my house by late afternoon.

It was another warm day, but we had 20 mph winds, which made the heat tolerable. My pain level this afternoon and evening has been a 7. Assuming because of two busy days in town and the heat. It is interesting to me where the pain jabs show up and how they often feel different. I'm out of Tramadol. I needed two of my prescriptions transferred from another pharmacy. Walmart will not take a request for a transfer over the telephone. You must bring the bottles in. Intellectually, I know there is a good reason. BUT, my pea-brain wants it handled over the phone so I don't need to go into town until I pick them up. I believe I have more situations since my Fibromyalgia came to stay that frustrate me. Walmart only wants to protect me, NOT piss me off.

I miss my kids while we are in Arizona. I appreciate living in an era that I can talk to them by phone, email and Facebook. I have three children. Seth and Heather are our first born (and second born). Yes, they are twins. They are 36. Adam, my baby, is 33. Seth lives in Chicago. Heather lives in eastern Oregon in Wallowa and has two boys. Adam lives in Vancouver, Washington. He has a daughter, Lyla. I could not be more proud of the adults they have become.

WARNING!!! I'm Crabby Today

A necessary evil while boondocking in the desert is going to the laundermat. We come to town once a week. On that day we try to accomplish as many errands as we can. As I write it is 81 outside and it feels like 90 inside. You know what happens when you try to do alot in one day. That's about the first piece of advice we give others.

We were going to purchase another solar panel, but the store owner talked Dwain out of that idea. Amazing to have a store owner talk you out of spending $400 in his establishment. So instead of saving the $400, he spent $369 on a solar oven and cooking pans. My husband has no will power...if there is $$$$, he must spend it. I hope you all pity me cause sometimes that's what I feel I need. :-D

My neck is about to fall off. I don't do well in this heat. I have neck tie cooler. I got it ready but left it on the kitchen table. As always my brain doesn't work causing brain fog.

A sad note of interest. Two helicopters collided, killing 7 Marines. This occured last evening in the hills behind where we are parked. When there is a loss of life like this, I want to go home.

On a happy note, a friend just called me. He is in Seattle. It was nice to visit with him.


Boy, I'm a crab...sorry


Yes you can ... try to keep a positive outlook. I failed today

Yes you can ... try to keep cool. I failed today

It's Hot!

My morning went well. We went into Mexico. Did a little shopping. We both found a memento plus a bottle of booze each! We had Shrimp Tacos for lunch. Dwain had a mexican beer he enjoyed. I had a margarita that I enjoyed.

The temperature went up by noon. We had an 81 degree day. Once the heat hit, I melted and my pain increased. I had difficulty walking. Fatigue nailed me good. When that happens, my tummy feels sick. Once we got home, I layed back in my recliner. I feel I drank plenty of water. So frustrating when your body fails you.

You can ... put a smile on your face when you would rather not.

You can ... enjoy shrimp tacos!!

Are Your Physician and Medications OK?

Are Your Medications Working For You?

Do You Have a Physician You Are Comfortable With?

I was fortunate to have my diagnosis of Fibromyalgia four months after my symptoms came to stay. I saw a Rheumotologist named Dr. Valentine. He was a hippie in appearance, long hair pulled back and Birkenstocks. Dr. V ran many tests. All were negative. He said it was important to rule out diseases that had similar symptoms. I received the Fibromyalgia diagnosis. He gave me a prescription for Trazodone, to help me sleep at night. He believed that you start one medication at a time, with the lowest dose. I am thankful for this practice. He would wait two weeks before adjusting the sleep medication and/or starting a new medication. The Trazodone worked well. I then was placed on Effexor XR, 75 Mg. There was a slight improvement. I was then placed on Effexor XR, 150 mg. A measurable improvement. Mind you, I was still in pain, but the measurable difference allowed me to be on my feet for a period of time.

Then without sickness, Dr. Valentine died. His office had names of physicians who treated Fibromyalgia and Chronic Fatigue but they were a hour drive from where I was living. There was a time of anxiety because I didn't know where I would go, would I be comfortable with the doctor, what if I couldn't drive for an hour then another hour back? My daughter called me in the middle of this worrisome time. She was working for a photographer and he had Fibro. She asked him for a doctor recommendation. This was an answer to my worries. Terri Russell is a Nurse Practitioner. She treated a hand-full of Fibro patients. I became comfortable with her. She added a blood pressure pill as the Effexor made my pressure increase. She also gave me Hydrocodone. I used it for break-through pain, but not daily. Flexeril is a muscle relaxant and I feel the difference if I run out. She also started me on Guaifenesin for the mega amounts of phlem I deal with. These medications worked well, with no side-effects. She also told me about Lysine because I had too many cold sores, which she told me was a Fibromyalgia symptom. I personally like Terri, but there were several situations that made me uncomfortable. I opted to look for another doctor.

I found two women doctors, in practice together, that treated Fibromyalgia. They have both treated me and I admire their type of practice. They started me on Neurotin, Tramadol and Amitriptlyn. The Amitiptlyn is for my Restless Leg Syndrome. Tramadol is for pain, which replaced my Hydrocodone. It is not a narcatic.

I feel fortunate that I have not had a reaction to the medications. After reading many blogs and talking with new friends on Facebook and Twitter, I understand that I'm a minority. Many suffer trying to find the right medication. I want to encourage you to find a physician you are comfortable with and to keep looking for the right medication. I believe that learning to listen to what your body is telling you, finding the right doctor and medication are all important to helping you live a better life.

Yes I can ... Advocate for yourself.

Chronic illness lowers our self esteem. We must work to be strong.

Yes I can ... Find a doctor who I can work with me for my health.

I'm in Arizona

Hoping this to be the beginning of returning to my daily blog. My blog was turned upside down. The only way to find my blog was to search for it on the internet. I lost my photo and the list of the blogs I follow. Dwain was able to restore everything except my photo and my friends' blogs. I will be able to recreate both. Did anyone have trouble with Blogger changing their format? I hope not.

We are parked in southern Arizona in a place referred to Imperial Dam/Senator's Wash. This is BLM land and termed Long Time Visitors' Area (LTVA). You can stay two weeks in the LTVA for $40 or $180 for "the season" which is September to May. There is every type of RV here. They are parked every which way. The reason we return to this location is because of the quiet. We have made friends and participate in activities.

My Fibromyalgia is in check. We had a few 80 degree days where my Fibromyalgia symptoms increased. However, they were better by morning. One day a week we travel to Yuma, which is 20 miles south, to run errands. It is always a long day and I spend the evening in my recliner. Otherwise, while I'm home, I have been working on household chores. Also, compiling tax info. By doing these things, I'm able to break when my body tells me it needs rest. The chores I've been working on are ones that need to be done yearly. So, feeling accomplished. Dwain and I walked nearly 2 miles, which is a mile longer than I've ever done. My upper legs do not enjoy the last half mile, but I've done it! Proud of myself. I know it is good for me.

I hope everyone is having a nice day. Hugs

You can ... hear your body when it talks to you. Are you listening?

You can ... step out of your comfort zone. Have you lately?

I'M BACK!!!!

Three months is a long time to be away from my blog. I thought about writing several times a day but could not muster the strength to put one more in my day.

Since my last post, we went to Vancouver, Washington to volunteer at Fort Vancouver Historical Site for the months of October, November and half of December. The pace as difficult, as we also had concentrated time with Adam, Carrie and Lyla. Miss Lyla is an amazing little women.

On December 13, we traveled to the Oregon Coast and stayed at Dwain's family homestead to prepare for our kids and grand kids to arrive for Christmas.Well, they arrived. We had lots of food and good times. Then they left. It took me the next week to undue every preparation I made. I gave Lucy a good haircut and I got a haircut too! On to Arizona...

We took a couple of days in Nevada at The Valley of Fire State Park. It's a great place to camp...quiet. Then on to Quartzsite, Arizona. Planning to be in Quartzsite through the end of January.

Since we arrived in Arizona, I have been sleeping 9 to 10 hours a night. I'm so thankful. I've also been able to rest when my body tells me during the day. The weather has been sunny (most days) and I remember why we come to Arizona.  :-D

You can ..... recognize when to take care of your body ... just listen.

You can .....reach out to a friend for support.

My Achilles Tendons have "yelled" at me all day. What those who do not have Fibromyalgia don't understand, is that because of Fibromyalgia, my pain is magnified. My abundance of Substance P seems to be working overtime. My next appointment with the Physical Therapist is Tuesday afternoon.

Dr. Emily put me on Tramodol 3x a day. I have not noticed a difference. I may need a higher dose.

We have had a quiet Sunday. I have done laundry, dishes and cooked meals. I did a lot of reorganization yesterday and cleaning. I feel good about what I accomplished.

We have nearly 160 sites in the park to clean tomorrow. Needless to say, not much will be accomplished at home. Dwain cooked a beef roast Saturday in the dutch oven. We have enough left over for hot beef sandwiches for dinner tomorrow.

You can .... smile in the face of pain.

You can .... forgive those who cannot understand Chronic Illness.
For we understand it is unseen.

Happy Labor Day Weekend!

It's hard to believe we are in the month of September. There is approximately 3 months and a couple of weeks until Christmas!!!

Our schedule in the park has changed. We will be cleaning sites, five days a week through September 15. Our next destination is Wallowa for a week before heading to Fort Vancouver National Park.

I've had pain and a throbbing sensation with both of my Achilles Tendons for a couple of months. I spoke to my medical doctor and she arranged for me to receive Physical Therapy. I had my first appointment last week. He worked on relaxing my tendons and muscles. The Physical Therapist thinks my A. Tendons are painful because of a fall when I was 9 years old. A little hard to grasp the possibility. Here's a thought...could that fall from a barn hay loft, triggered my Fibromyalgia? I have another appointment on Tuesday.

I have good news from the medical doctor. My blood pressure was the best it has been in years and I had a clear pap. I need to call and schedule my Mammogram. Also an appointment for a test at OHSU. I have been having trouble with my hearing. This test will let us know if it is hearing or cognitive problem. I will have the test done while we are in Vancouver this fall.

I very much appreciate my readers taking the time to leave a comment about my post. However, if you are unable to empathize or leave a positive comment, please do not leave a post. I recently read a comment that was negative. Negativity is not what this blog is about. This blog is to help me and others converse about living with Fibromyalgia and other chronic diseases.


You can .... be positive when you don't feel positive.

You can .... make time to be with family and good friends.

You can .... share your day, warts and all, with those who have open ears.