Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Trying to Keep My Anxiety Controlled

We have had a couple of emotional days. I try to keep my anxiety under control. Yesterday it got the best of me.

Dwain's Dad has a dominating personality. He has the need to constantly talk, all the while making no sense. He had some sourdough. I said I might make sourdough bread the next day. Well, I made sourdough biscuits the next day and they did not turn out. Now, it took an hour to prepare and cook the biscuits. After that I lost the desire for bread. My friend Marie came for an unexpected visit, so would not have had the time for bread preparation in time for dinner. The next day, while Dwain was talking to his Dad, he asked how the bread turned out. When Dwain told him that I did not make bread, he exploded and was angry. It upset Dwain. Because I have also experienced Dad's rath in the past, it upset me too. He cares about himself and does not consider others have opinions.

Our son-in-law, Matt's Mom is on life support. Matt and family will leave early Thursday morning to drive the eight hour trip to his parents. When they have said their goodbyes, she will be taken off life support. We will meet them and our grandsons will come home with us through the weekend. I feel guilty that I'm excited to see the boys when their Dad is loosing his Mom.

I know there are many more problems in the world, but right now these personal issues are increasing my stress level and in return my Fibro pain has increased. I'm hoping for a good night sleep. I haven't had problems sleeping since I've been on Trazodone to help me thankful.

I have accomplished several projects in our home. Feels good to accomplish something. :-D


  1. Sorry to hear you're under such stress. I can empathsize as I've been under too much pressure,in the last 6 months. Stress definitely does make pain worse. I'm wondering why your father-in-law exploded at you all because of bread?? No disrepect intended, but what is it to him? Am I missing something here? That's a very unusual response to something so trivial. I hope you can get some rest and a chance to relax. Put on some nice music or have a nice bath. Do something just for yourself. Take care.

    p.s. I also have a blog about fibro.

  2. Thanks for commenting Cathy. I'm not at all offended by your Q about my FIL. Plainly put, he is a jerk. His thinking is not logical. He's angry at me because he thinks I should've made the bread. He thinks he makes perfect bread, but he doesn't. Also if you don't think like are wrong. It doesn't make sense I know. He tried to tell Dwain that Dwain should make the bread and Dwain told him that he was not going to make the bread...he blew again...We have not heard the last of the subject. When we see him, he will bring it up. I will be happy when we leave the area. Thanks for leaving your blog address...I will go there!

  3. Hello Debbie Oh families, I have had encounters with someone just like your family member. It is always hard to deal with. I am sorry you have to go through that. The stress is really not good for you. I have cut this person out of my life, sad but true, it is my own brother but I had to think of myself.
    Sorry about your Son-in-laws Mom that must be horrible for him. My prayers are with him. You should always be excited about seeing your children do not feel guilty. Feel better soon Ok I will be thinking of you. B

  4. I do hope today is a better day for you! I will pray for Matt, that is so awful. I am glad though that you will be there for your Grandchildren. They are so precious!

  5. Hi Deb, we all have to deal with difficult people, I think. My dad is difficult..he has caused us a lot of stress the last few years, but then of course not his fault, he doesn't see it, I understand being so upset over the blowup about bread. but it prbably could have been anything, right.
    Hang in there and so glad you are there for your grandbabies..hugs

  6. Try not to worry about other peoples reactions to the choices you have to make it'll just make life more difficult. Remember to keep taking breaks as hard as that is to do. As sad as it is that your family is loosing a member it is a joyous occasion when a family has the opportunity to say their good byes before a loved one starts a new journey. Most people are deprived of that chanceso try to remember you're lucky. Also it's natural to be happy to see your children. Hope you have a good weekend