High School classmates will be here late afternoon. Looking forward to their visit, but anxiety is increasing as my morning progresses. We live in a 37' Fifth Wheel and it is a mess. I'm having trouble knowing where to start to make it presentable. Others may think it is ok, but not me (My Type A Personality at work). I wish I could say it is ok not to have the dishes and floors done, toilet scrubbed, bed made, etc. And you ask "why is she on the computer? Just do it!!"
I needed to get the March monthly bills posted online so they could be paid on time. I had done all but two last night. While posting I could feel my anxiety kick up another notch. Decided to write about it here, hoping it will help slow me down. I keep hearing my oldest son's voice, "Talk yourself down Mom. You can handle this, just calm yourself." Until today I've been able to hear his voice and advice and calm down. Tears are flowing, sniffling. CRAP!!!! I better get off the computer and breathe.
I promise to tell the end of this story later.
It's evening and I survived my melt down. Our friends arrived. We had a good visit and shared dinner. Tomorrow we will take them sight seeing.
You may wonder why I entitled this post "Anxiety is Creeping into my Body." That is how I was feeling at the time. The feelings of emotion take a grip, my breathing becomes labored and the grip continues to become more intense. So I feel like I'm being smothered as it takes over my body.
Thank you for listening today.