Nothing is Impossible

I apologize for the visual look of this post. I have spent alot of time trying to include spacing with no luck.

"There is a place in you where there is a perfect place.

There is a place in you where nothing is impossible."

A Course in Miracles

I think this quote comes under the heading of learning to have confidence in yourself. I was fairly confident prior to my diagnosis of Fibro and Chronic Fatigue. At that time, my confidence went in the toilet!

I know for sure (I sound like Oprah!!!) that my God and my family love me unconditionally. After that, how I fit in this world is shaken. I know I will be ok...I'm still "in there." I'm sensitive to how I will accomplish every day tasks; how I interact with others; what and when I eat. Should I drive or does my Fibro Fog cause distractions? The list is endless.

I'm working on regaining my self confidence. Learning who I am, because I feel different. This is a very personal journey. I can feel my progress. When my pain level increases, my confidence is shaky. I question my decisions and responses. Sometimes it's two steps forward, one backward. I'm gaining, but only baby steps.

My goal is to continue working on my confidence so it will allow me to try anything again. Well, almost "anything."

I wonder if other Fibro/Chronic Fatigue sufferers write "To Do" lists. They help me see my accomplishment.

Holiday Thoughts and Living with Young Children

I don't know how women with Fibromyalgia function if they have little ones. My FM came to stay after my children were grown and I thank God daily.

May you have blessed days during this holiday season. Take care of you or you won't be able to take care of your little ones. Ask for help even when you think you don't need it. Find a friend or family member who will take your kids periodically so you can rest. An older child can watch the younger one so you can take a nap.

When you cook a meal, double it so you have another meal, that includes salad. If your kids are older, ask them to help with the meal. Making the salad, peeling spuds, and setting the table are a few things they can accomplish. Stop and read to your children, you both get to sit down. While you are sitting, talk about your decorations, Christmas tree, etc. That prolongs your sitting time and you will enjoy what the kids have to say. Older kids can do laundry. The little ones should be taking their own dirty clothes to your designated spot. Heck, you can fold while you are sitting.

If your kids are older, they can wrap the younger ones Christmas gifts and bake the holiday cookies. I know it is something you have always done, but let go of wanting everything to look perfect and LET them! They can all vacum and dust. No it may not be perfect..it's ok. My friend Kristen's son, Alex, loves to vacum. While he is vacuming, she is dusting. He of course being small, wanted to dust too. :D So, Alex dusts the mop boards while she does the furniture.Young children can also make their own beds and put away their clothes. There again, it will not be perfect, but as they grown it does get better. My kids folded the wash clothes and worked up to bath towels. I always redid them..stupid me!! Only redo if they won't fit on the shelf. Here again, they will get better. Depending on their age, little ones can put the silverware away from the dishwasher. My hope is that you can relinquish some of what you do and give them pride in helping.

Stepping Stones

"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass--it's about learning to dance in the rain." Pat Stepp

I'm back! It's been since November 10th since my last post, nearly a month. I've missed being here. My computer has been in the shop and I were told it died. So I purchased a new one. Decided to try a Netbook. Interesting...will take awhile to get used to the keyboard. As a friend told me..they are missing keys! Feels like it as the keyboard is small. Because I have typed for 42 years, I know that I will get used to the feel.

During the last month we traveled to Wallowa so Dwain could go on a hunting trip with grandson, Patrick and Patrick's Dad. Patrick got a 5 point buck with a 25" horn spread. As his Dad said, "It was a buck of a lifetime." While they were hunting, I stayed with Heather and grandson, Joshua. We were able to stay through Thanksgiving and enjoy a few of the boys' basketball games. My computer was in the shop while we were gone. I tried to use Dwain's but could not figure out how to get to my Dashboard to post. I said I've been a typist, not a computer engineer.

While packing the truck to return to the coast, I feel backwards, landing soundly on my butt, which propelled my head backwards to the frozen, gravel driveway. It bounced (must be made of rubber) and hit the ground twice. Of course when you fall, your whole body tenses. Because I have FM, the pain of tightening the muscles is more intense and lasts for days. My neck muscles hurt so bad that to turn my head left and right was miserable. My rib cage felt like I had done 100 sit ups. My hips were miserable too. Tensing my arm muscles causes me to loose the strength in my arms. I don't have alot of arm strength to begin with. Had to be careful for fear I would drop things. My head had a hard achy feeling for several days. Not sure I didn't have a concussion. It was definitely bruised to the touch. Noticed that when I lay down or rest my head against my recliner or car seat, it would hurt worse, so often kept my head to the right or left, depending on my need. Trying to go to sleep was ok until I rolled over in my sleep..OUCH! Now been five days since the fall and started noticing feeling better yesterday. So sure it will progressively improve.

So will continue to dance in the rain, while waiting for my storms to pass. Or is that, I will continue to step on stones, one at a time?

Christmas is Coming the Goose is Getting Fat!

Just a quickie tonight. It's late and way past my bedtime.

I read a new blog tonight at http://dogmomdiva.blogspot.com.
Check it out when you have time.

Christmas has been on my mind for a week. I even purchased fun yarn for projects. I hope my hands will allow me to complete what my mind wants to do! While on Barbara's blog, I noticed she had a countdown clock 'til Christmas. I HAD TO HAVE IT!!!!! Take a look...

Off to visit my granddaughter Lyla tomorrow...I'm a happy Grandma!!

In the Meantime

"When you have a good heart,.life does not turn its back on you."
Iyanla Vanzant from her book, In The Meantime.


F - Friendly
I - Interesting
B - Bold
R - Reliable
O - One
M - MOM
Y - Yacker
A - Amicable
L - Listener
G - Grandma
I - Independent
A - Angel (This might be a stretch)


Can you use the word Fibromyalgia and list one-word, POSITIVE description of yourself? I thought this would be an easy exercise, but discovered it was not. 1) We don't always think of positive descriptions for ourselves and 2) I found the vowels more difficult than the consonants.

Give it a try...

How's Your Attitude?

"...we must admit that we spend more of our time concentrating and fretting over the things that can't be changed in life than we do giving the attention to the one thing that we can, our choice of attitude." Charles R. Swindoll

I have three kids. The two oldest are twins. Shortly after they were born, I joined a Mothers of Twins support group. Several months down the road, I attended my first convention. I got up at 3 am to be at the convention on time. I was exhausted. While at the luncheon, I looked around the room of approximately 300 MOMs (Mothers of Multiples). The thought entered my head, "I have twins who are small and I got up early. I wish they understood how tired I am." Immediately, a second thought, "they are Mothers of twins too and most of them got up early." We were in the same boat..all exhausted." What a relief to know that everyone of those ladies UNDERSTOOD ME! I sat up to the table with a new attitude. Sometimes all it takes is internal conversation with ones self to figure out life's situations.

I watch my attitude daily. On pity party days, depression hovers. I work hard to lose the depression. While Fibromyalgia pain is my constant companion, I try to watch how words flow from my mouth. Because of the pain, it is easy to have a strong attitude, which others don't appreciate, I'm sure.

Always think about your tone of words. Keep a sunny attitude.

It's Friday!

You would think that being retired, I wouldn't get excited about "Friday." NOT! The weekend still brings that little twinge of excitement.

Lots of rain and high winds yesterday. Today we had thunder, lightening, hail and a few brakes in the rain.

Still battling the flu virus. My voice is almost gone from all the "junk" on my vocal cords. My wind pipe makes strange sounds as I breathe. It even wakes me up at night. My body feels like its been sunburned on the outside and painful inside. Took my additional dose of Neurontin again today. Sure hope my insurance company will refill when I run out. They are particular about refilling prescriptions within a certain time period from the last refill. I did push myself to do a load of laundry because I was out of underwear!

Day 3

Day 3 of a flu virus. Had a low grade fever this morning, but gone by this afternoon. This virus gave me an irritating cough, but hard to hack the junk up, headache and aches. It has increased my Fibromyalgia pain, including skin sensitivity..feels like sunburn. Resembles a nasty flare. My brain finally clicked on, so I increased my Neurotin. Unfortunately Dwain started with the same thing today. This is the first virus I've had in years. I've been lucky.

Flu Bug

Yesterday the cough progressed from a tickle cough to a hard cough from my chest. By dinner time I had a fever and aches. Today as been miserable. We had to cancel our visit to see Adam and family and a lunch/visit with our friends the Olsons.

Coughing

This morning I woke up with a "tickle" in my throat so am involuntarily coughing. I'm not happy as we are to have visits with friends the next few days. Most importantly we are to spend Tuesday with Adam, Carrie and Lyla. We haven't seen them for three weeks and I don't want to give up the time. Hoping it will move on so we won't need to cancel.

Slept well last night but not long enough. Only five hours before the cough woke me up.

Had trouble with last nights post. Can't get the spacing correct. Even though I put the spacing in, it doesn't show up once I save and publish. I spent alot of time working on it then again this morning. Finally gave up and will see how this post does.

Inside

"Inside every sick person is a well person wondering what the hell happened" Anonymous

Do you have this thought AT LEAST once a day? I do! I get tired of always feeling like crap.

I try hard to keep my appearance and demeanor UP so I'm not a medical drag. I feel if I complaint often, no one would want to be around me. When someone asks me about my Fibromyalgia and how I'm feeling, I get emotional. I choke up, tears often flow. I want to talk about it. I'm surprised by the emotion. I don't know if the emotion happens because I don't talk about it enough or if I was a complainer, the emotion would still over take me. Anyone else have this issue?

Saturday I visited with friends then did grocery shopping. I really should have separated the two. I didn't get to the grocery store 'til 3 pm. I'm already physically tired. My Fibro Fog was increasing by the minute. But I persevered! Got the shopping done. Picked up chicken and potato salad and headed home.

Today I did a few chores, watched a little football, took a nap, visited with in-laws then the

World Series. I think I accomplished enough!

I hope everyone has a good week ahead. We have a busy social calender the first three days. Dinner with friends in Seaside at Norma's in Seaside, Oregon. Norma's has a senior discount on Mondays..half price after 5 pm. November 2nd is the first day. Tuesday we are traveling to LaCenter, Washington to visit with Adam, Carrie and Lyla. Wednesday we will be honored with a visit from our friends, the Olsons. Planning to have lunch out. I think after Wednesday, I will need a day off. :D

Slow Days

Wednesday and Thursday (today) have been slow days. Legs, arms, hands and head are giving me fits. I think my body is getting ready for a cycle. My pain intensifies about a week before the cycle begins. We will see if it arrives next week. I might have blogged on this a few days back.

My hands ache without use. When I use them the pain increases and I'm afraid I will drop something.

My arms and leg muscles cramp mostly when I'm at rest in my recliner but a few times they cramped while I was walking.

My head always hurts, but the last few days it has increased. I've had headaches when my cycle was about to start.

Going to bed. Just wanted to point my frustration with increased Fibromyalgia pain.

Slow Down Therapy

This was printed in a newsletter I receive from The Northcoast Lupus & Fibromyalgia Support Group which meets on the north Oregon coast. I don't know the author. It was submitted by a lady named Heidi, who I suspect is the author. I read this advise regularly. It is a great reminder of how how we should lead our lives, having Fibromyalgia or not.

"Slow Down Therapy

1. Slow down; you are not responsible for doing it all yourself, right now.
2. Remember a happy, peaceful time in your past. Rest there. Each moment has richness that takes a lifetime to savor.
3. Set your own pace. When someone is pushing you, its OK to tell them they're pushing and it's not good for you.
4. Take nothing for granted; watch water flow, the corn grow, the leaves blow, your neighbor mow.
5. Taste your food. It is to delight as well as to nourish.
6. Notice the sun, the moon, and the stars as they rise and set. They are remarkable for their steady pattern of movement, not their speed. Watch and listen to the night sky.
7. Quit planning how you're going to use what you know, learn, or possess. Gifts just are; be grateful and their purpose will be clear.
8. When you talk with someone, don't think about what you'll say next. Thoughts will spring up naturally if you let them. If you are only thinking of your next word you will miss a blessing from that someone.
9. Create a place in your home...at your work...in your mind...in your heart...where you can go for quiet and time to be lazy and unproductive. Rest isn't luxury; it's a necessity; it improves us."

So...

Can you slow down?

Can you find a happy, relaxful place?

Can you go at your own pace?

Do you marvel at the simple things in life?

Do you eat well?

Can you stop and listen to the space around you?

Can you enjoy your life?

Can you accept the blessing

that are your

family, friends and acquaintances?

Can you sit quietly, relax in an recollection?

Do you get enough rest?

Information to get you thinkin' about what you do for yourself.

Cold Snaps

Do You Have Cold Snaps?

This is a term Dwain coined when my skin shivers and I get goose bumps. I am usually not cold when I experience these sensations. It happens often during the winter months. The locations are my legs and arms. The only way I can eliminate the snap is to wrap a warm blanket around me or across my lap, depending on the location. A friend gave me a warming lap blanket and I may wear it out. :-D

Dr. Mark J. Pellegrino, MD, in his book, Fibromyalgia Up Close and Personal, says of goose bumps:

"This frequent finding is another result of a dysfunctional autonomic nervous system. These are usually noticed in the legs during the palpation of painful tender points but can be seen in the arms also. These goose bumps are medically known as piloerections.."

Cold snaps are opposite of the usual burning sensation, which I also have. My experience with burning sensations have been decreased by medication. I still feel the burning, but it is not as intense.

Relaxing Day

What a nice day I've had. I accomplished daily chores, watched football, talked to grandsons via the telephone and had a good visit and dinner with my in-laws. Nothing rushed or complicated. I can't always make that statement. I'm tired, having no nap.

My Fibromyalgia pain has been in check today. I attribute that to the nice-paced day.

Busy Week

It's been four days since my last post. Let's see if I can remember what has transpired during that time.

Wednesday was another difficult sciatica day. Rested most of the morning then headed to Tillamook for lunch with Jacquie at the Blue Heron. We had a wonderful visit and lunch was good too. Jacquie then dropped me at Fred Meyers for grocery shopping. Getting through my list took longer than it should due to my back and my increased Fibromyalgia pain...I was shot. Dwain picked me up and we took the loop home. It was nice to see different scenery. Watched baseball in the evening.

Thursday we headed for Astoria to have lunch with a few other retirees from Oregon Department of Forestry. We were there for lunch but stayed until 4 pm. Great visit! We
stopped by Costco and Fred's before visiting with friends in Seaside. Another late night and to top it off the Angels beat the Yankees. :-(

Friday was a productive day. Wasn't expecting it to be productive after the busy, long days. I was able to take a nap in the late afternoon. We went to my Aunt and Uncles for an evening with family. Had great visits and another late night.

We stayed home today. I accomplished laundry, dishes, made banana bread, vacuumed and cleaned bathroom. Watched the U of O and OSU games. Disappointed the baseball game was rain delayed. I feel like my body is getting ready for a period. My hips and legs are aching hard along with other tender areas. The increased pain in my hips and legs are symptoms since my Fibro has been active. It's been two months since my last period.

Sciatica

I have sciatica! It hurts! It's not bad enough to have FM and CF, I am blessed with sciatica. Blessed? I should make an appointment with my Chiropractor, but will wait another day, continuing my back exercises. I have spent more time in my recliner in the morning the last couple of days. Nervous that the sciatica will increase my Fibromyalgia pain. It has a little, but not significantly. I think the quieter mornings have helped.

I do feel accomplished in completing household chores, some of which are not daily chores ... working towards a winter house cleaning.

Enjoying the chase for the ALCS title. Feel sorry for the Angels, but the Yankees rule.

Dwain is working on shelves for cupboards in the RV. Looking forward to getting them installed.

Having lunch with my friend Jacquie on Wednesday. Looking forward to the time together.

I'm missing Patrick and Joshua. It's been three weeks since we left Wallowa.

I Love My Son!

OK day..a few chores, lots of football, ending it with a wonderful phone visit with my oldest son who lives in Chicago.

It's hard having Seth live so far from us. I know he has a good life and is happy. But I miss seeing his smile, hugging him and him hugging me. You know, when God gives us our children, they are in our home for much to short of a time. I know they are ready to leave us after 18 years, but are we ready for them to live a long distance from us? Seth has been on his own for over 16 years. He has gone through his education, jobs and relationships. He has touched many, many lives positively and excelled in his efforts. What more could a Mother want? Simply..to be nearer to this amazing man. If I had more $$, I would fly back to see him several times a year. I wish he could be more involved in the lives of his nephews and niece. I'm thankful they have phone and email contact and they know one another. They also have time during the Christmas holiday to spend together. Very fun to watch their interaction together. They so love each other.

Must move off this emotional writing. When I get emotional, my body rebells. My muscles tighten, my headache increases and my throat restricts, just to mention a few pain in the ass issues. The bottoms of my feet have been extra sore today. Wasn't on them alot yesterday. Just must be their day. :>)

Best of Friends

Had a good day. Didn't do much this morning. Did the dishes, couple loads of laundry, straightened a little, fixed lunch. THEN off to visit my good friend Carol. Carol, Dwain and I went to high school together. We have kept in touch for 40 years. Since we all retired, we have spent more time together. Carol and her husband Bill and Dwain and I have taken "adventure" trips. We went to the Port Townsend area with them and they came to Wallowa County with us. We have also spent time together in the LaPine area.

Carol and I have GREAT visits. We understand each other. We can talk for hours about our kids and grandkids. Because we went through high school together, we have mutual friends, know each others family and the area where we grew up, we can talk about anything and everything. We confide to each other and know the other will keep the confidence.

I am blessed to have her in my life and I often thank the Good Lord for seeing to it that we are connected. It's a double blessing that Dwain and Bill enjoy each others company too.

I worried about visiting Carol this afternoon only because the afternoons are harder fibro-wise for me. I almost changed the day to visit during a morning. I'm glad I didn't. We sat on Carol's comfortable couch with a hot cup of tea and visited. No up and down, nothing to figure out, just a laid-back visit.

Tonight I used the massager on my neck. Didn't seem to help. Shouldn't be surprised. It's human nature to try to fix it. Also an A personality trait..fix it.

Sore neck

Today my neck hurts. I've been stretching, applying heat. Next I'm going to use the massager we received last Christmas. I even ate chocolate hoping the caffeine would help. My eyes are beginning to ache more than usual. Maybe a good nap would help.

Tried the "good nap" with heat on my neck and base of skull. Slept for one and a half hours. Helped for a couple of hours, then BAM! So off to bed

Tired

Feeling the effects of Wednesday. Had a great lunch and visit with David and Donna. We then went to Les Schwab to have the tires rotated and picked up groceries at Fred Meyer. Altho it doesn't seem like much it all took place between 11:30 am and 5 pm. When I got up this morning I was doing ok, but by 10 am, my legs got weak and hurt more. Within 10 minutes my arms were reacting and fatigue over took me. I rested for a little while. I've felt like I was dragging weights all day. Going to bed early tonight.

Stupid Moment

I had a "stupid" moment AGAIN!

It was time to get out of the back seat of the car. The door would not open. Adam, from the driver's seat, tried to verbally tell me what to do. He tried different ways of telling me how to unlock the car door. My dots finally connected and I was able to exit from the car.

Even though I know I am not stupid, it makes me feel like I am or I have Alzheimer's. Similar situations have occurred with my other children and Dwain. I know this makes them frustrated and worried. How do you explain Fibrofog?

Dr. Mark Pellegrino gives several analogies:

"The Cluttered Hallway

Picture your brain as the upstairs of a house. In this house, the upstairs bedrooms are neat, organized and behind closed doors. The common hallway leading to each bedroom is cluttered with laundry baskets, piles of clothing, boxes, shoes, toys, and furniture. One has to navigate the clutter in order to access a bedroom, causing some delay in reaching the door.

The person trying to get into the bedroom is like the nerve signal trying to access a memory trace. The person (nerve signal) climbs the steps (spinal cord) up to the second floor (brain) and is standing in the common hallway (attention center). The egress to the bedroom door (memory) is slowed by all the clutter (neurochemical changes from fibromyalgia). Sometimes it seems to take forever to get to a door, and at other times the person can't remove all the clutter to open the door in a timely manner. This leads to either delayed processing, or inability to read the intended thought or memory.

Once one gets to the bedroom door and opens it, the room (memory) is in good order and can be accessed freely. In fibromyalgia, the bedrooms are neat. In dementia, the bedrooms would be in a disarray. ... .

Cable Access vs. Dial-Up

To those of you who are computer literate, a simple fibrofog analogy is like having dial-up internet service on your computer instead of cable access."

I have a hard time "letting go" as to how others see me when the fibrofog is clouding my thinking. I have a depressive moment before moving on. When this happens with my husband or children, I feel like they think I've lost it. I need to accept that fibrofog is a part of my Fibromyalgia illness. It is something I continue to work on.

Thinking Out of the Box

It's Saturday already! Thursday Dwain and I ran errands. Friday Adam, Lyla and I shopped for the perfect rocking chair for Lyla's 1st birthday (she likes shopping). We found a fun, stuffed chair. I had to think "out of my box" to buy a stuffed chair. All I've known is wooden rockers for kids. The more we looked, the more I realized that stuffed was the new wooden chair. We were out for 7 hours and my feet are burning and aching more than usual today. Also my hands hurt from pushing the stroller. Adam took over often, but Grandma was having fun. And you know what happens when you have too much fun. :(

So...how often do we allow ourselves to think out of the box? I've been aware that I think out of my box more since my diagnosis of Fibromyalgia and Chronic Fatigue. I'm more aware because I've slowed down. I'm able to hear my thinking. Sometimes my thinking is clouded with fibro fog which slows me and I'm less creative out side the box. But I'm listening more. :D

I've also noticed that my "opinionated self" is softer. I believe this goes along with "out of the box." Since I'm not so "strong willed," I'm open to other ideas, thoughts.

Hey...having FM and CF has opened my world!

I'm sure we have all had these eye opening experiences since being diagnosed. Having to slow our game plan, has many benefits. We don't always think of FM or CF providing gifts. Don't you see, hear, feel more? Yes, we hurt more, but stop and think about your positive experiences.

Fun with Lyla

Had a nice day with Lyla. She has a great belly laugh. A half hour before her parents picked her up, we were playing "Monkeys Jumping on the Bed." Then I gave her horsey rides. Boy are my legs shot and my hands are aching. Sure wish I could have fun and not pay for it later. I don't want to say that I regret the activity as I would do it again. However, the fact is, by having fun, I pay for it.

Plan to back off my extra Neurotin tomorrow. Little nervous about it.

We will run errands tomorrow. Carrie will be home with Lyla.

Coming out of a Flare :D

It's been about a week since my last entry. I called my doctor for her guidance on helping me out of a flare. She increased my Neurotin by one tablet, giving me leeway to increase it by two. The extra tablet did the trick. In two days I will decrease back to the normal dose and see what happens.

We arrived at Adam, Carrie and Lyla's on Sunday afternoon. Have thoroughly enjoyed Miss Lyla. She is a strong willed child. She will be one year old on Sunday, October 11th. We are parked in their yard and plan to be here 'til the end of October.

Monday morning Carrie and Lyla came for a visit. I was so excited to have them here, I forgot to take my morning meds. Didn't realize I missed them 'til about 2:30. Took me awhile to figure out why I was feeling terrible. I took the meds and immediately got sick to my stomach. Felt rotten for the rest of the day.

Tuesday we had Lyla with us from 8 am 'til 8 pm. She was a delight. We will have her again on Wednesday.

I need to get laundry done and a major wash-down of the inside of the RV. Hoping Dwain will take care of the outside. He usually does.

I'm Flaring and Thankful

I have been in a flare for two weeks. My body is racked with pain and fatigue. Depression set in two days ago. I started my "pity party" when the depression started, which makes sense doesn't it? I'm trying hard not to complain much as I don't want to become known as a winer. I just want to feel better NOW! I don't want Fibromyalgia and Chronic Fatigue!

I'm thankful for my husband who tries to understand these diseases.

I'm thankful for my kids and grandkids who try to understand too.

I'm thankful for my doctors who help me through this journey.

I'm thankful for the sunshine during fall as it is not hot, but warm.

I'm thankful for my my home as it is small and easier to care for.

I'm thankful for flowers as they lift my spirits.

I'm thankful for paychecks that keep us housed, clothed and fed.

I'm thankful for my computer as it keeps me connected to family and friends.

I'm thankful for nice warm showers.

I'm thankful for my recliner and bed as they provide relief.

I'm thankful for books & magazines as they provide good info and take me places.

I'm thankful for my seat in the truck and its heating element.

I'm thankful for my friends. They provide love, support, understand, laughter.

I'm thankful for the laughter as it comes from many sources.

I'm thankful for my full-time RV'g lifestyle as it is a slower pace.

My wrists are stiff so will sign off for now.

Wallowa Junior High Cougars

The junior high football game was great fun! My biggest problem is I can't stay seated. Also I clap alot. "Happy Clapping" causes my hands to hurt. :D They are aching tonight. About the 3rd quarter, I needed a Vicodin. Between my hands, my tired and hurting legs and my poor head from the tension. This was a fun game. Our boys worked hard. They made 3 touch downs, but they called one back because of a penalty. The boys have 3 games this next week.

Had a good lunch at the truck stop just outside of LaGrande. We made a couple of stops on the way home, getting here about 4 pm.

Had a good fish dinner. I hated cooking dinner, but it was good. I'm sure many other women hate cooking dinner. My body is very tired and hurting more when it is time to cook dinner. I need to delegate.

Nice Day

Heather invited me to ride along with her to LaGrande. We had a nice day. We haven't had a "Mommy and Me" day for some time. We returned home about 4 pm. I put a load of clothes in the washer then sat down and read the paper. I needed "stretch-out" time in my recliner. The drive to LaGrande is an hour each way. I was in and out of the car and did alot of walking. My hips were screaming at me. Heather invited us for dinner. Matt BBQ'd elk steak. We had green salad, baked squash, baked potatoes with onions and french bread. All very good. After dinner I washed the dishes while Dwain played his harmonica and Patrick his guitar. Josh was on the keyboard. :0) Nice evening too!

Saturday we will all go to North Powder, Oregon for a junior high football game. Both Patrick and Joshua play. It's a three hour round trip to North Powder. The game is only an hour. A second day in the car may require pain medication. I always carry a couple of tablets with me so will be prepared.

Periodically today I was light headed. I'm sure it had to do with over working my body. Time for bed...

Hot Day in the Wallowa Valley

Another hot day in the Wallowa Valley. Heat is not my friend. :(

Dwain is putting a new seal on the gray tank and repaired a crack on the black tank. It's a HUGE undertaking and will take all day. He hopes to complete the project today. I hope so to. Right now we can't use the water in our our RV. It's inconvenient, but the seal and repairing the crack are important. It is against the law for the tanks to leak, plus the sanitary issue. If you are interested, Dwain blogs about RV tips at danddrvtips.blogspot.com


I'm trying to rest for a few days due to a flare. However, there are things to be done. We are watching the RV park were we stay for a week. The owners will be back Thursday evening. Saturday night was hectic, but the rest of the week has been fine.


Our New Zealand friends continued on their journey around the United States. They were fun to get to know. We will keep in touch through email.


Had a nice phone visit with Seth last night. All's well in Chicago. I'm looking forward to having him home for Christmas. Our visit are never long enough for me.

AWAKE!

It is 4:50 am and I'm awake! :(

I haven't had time awake in the middle of the night for some time. I take Trazodone to help me sleep. It works great. However, if I wake in the night and my brain begins working, I'm
d-o-n-e! I laid awake for 1.5 hours, shifting, stretching, with my brain running wild. Finally got up, fixed a cup of cocoa and opened my computer.

It's been a week or so since my last entry. In that time I've had a virus, company from out of town, grandsons Patrick and Joshua's junior high football games, my birthday, had a Chiropractic appointment, caring for our daughter's family animals for the weekend and we are watching the campground for the owners while they have a week holiday. Needless to say my FM is screaming at me. We are going to town today for errands in the am, but planning a quiet afternoon which involves a nap. :D I had a 1.5 hour nap yesterday. It was wonderful and prepared me for the evening.

We have a couple from New Zealand parked in the site next to us. They are fun " blokes." We have had fun visits and had dinner with them last night. Each visitor to our campground brings a new and interesting twist to our lives. We have been enriched by our full-time RV'g experience.

Going to try to get a little more sleep.

There is a Name to My Pain

To follow are articles written by Adrienne Dellwo on Ask.com. I knew I had sensitivities to light, sound, too many people in a room, talking and moving all at once. I had no idea until I read this article that the sensitivities had a name. It is Allodynia Pain. Enjoy Adrienne's articles. Go to Ask.com and sign up for her email newsletter. I gain information from her writings. I have added my comments below.

"This type of fibromyalgia pain is extremely common in us, but it's one of the harder ones for other people to understand. That's because, by definition, things that cause allodynia shouldn't hurt. That's right -- allodynia is "pain from stimulus that usually doesn't cause pain." Examples: flashing lights, repetitive sounds, visual "chaos," confusion. How do those cause pain? I don't know, but trust me: they do. And I'm not talking headaches, like you might expect from light and sound. For me, these things cause pain to rip through my abdomen. I know, it's weird. Allodynia comes in several forms, and those of us with fibromyalgia can have any combination of them. The examples above are the basic form. There's also:

• Tactile allodynia. Pain from touch/light pressure, such as from a waistband or bra strap.

• Mehanical allodynia. Pain from motion across the skin, such as light massage or the brush of fabric.

• Thermal allodynia. Pain from heat or cold that's not severe enough to damage tissues. I.e., cold feet may feel intense, sharp pain.

Allodynia's not terribly well researched or understood. Some drugs are clinically shown to help, as are some pain creams. See the allodynia section in 7 Types of Fibromyalgia Pain for more information on treatment options."

And the second article:

"Types of Fibromyalgia Pain

The first 3 types of fibromyalgia pain are medically defined:

Hyperalgesia Allodynia

Painful Paresthesia

The next 4 types are my own creation, which will be obvious by their names. I don't recommend using these terms in a doctor's office (unless you want to be seen as crazy), but these labels may help you get to know your body's quirks, triggers, patterns, etc.:

Knife in the Voodoo Doll

Randomly Roving Pain

Sparkler Burns

Rattled Nerves

First, the medically defined types of fibromyalgia pain.

Hyperalgesia & Fibromyalgia

"Hyper" means excess and "algesia" means pain. Hyperalgesia is the medical term for pain amplification in FMS. Our brains appear to take normal pain signals and "turn up the volume," making them more severe than they would normally be. Most of the drugs used for managing FMS pain are aimed, at least in part, at reducing hyperalgesia.

Allodynia & Fibromyalgia

A symptom that perplexes a lot of us, especially when it's new, is allodynia. That's what it's called when your skin hurts to the touch, and when mild pressure from clothing or gentle massage causes pain. A lot people describe allodynia as similar to a bad sunburn. Allodynia is a fairly rare type of pain -- other than FMS, it's only associated with a handful of conditions, including neuropathy, postherpetic neuralgia (shingles) and migraine. Allodynia is believed to be a hypersensitive reaction that may result from the central sensitization associated with FMS. The pain signals originate with specialized nerves, called nociceptors, that sense information about things like temperature and painful stimuli right from the skin.

Allodyniacomes in 3 forms:

Tactile, which is pain from touch or gentle pressure

Mechanical, which is from something moving across your skin

Thermal, which is pain from heat or cold that's not severe enough to damage tissues

Some drugs that work for some people with allodynia include:

Tramadol

Lidocaine

Ketamine

Morphine

Venlafaxine

Some people also get relief from topical pain creams (capsaicin, Tiger Balm, Aspercreme, BioFreeze). Paying close attention to the way you dress can help alleviate allodynia as well. If you have allodynia, massage therapy may make it worse. If you feel other aspects of your health would benefit from massage, be sure to discuss allodynia with your doctor and massage therapist and keep track of how treatments impact this symptom.

Painful Paresthesia & Fibromyalgia

Paresthesias are odd nerve sensations that can feel like crawling, tingling, burning, itching or numbness. Sometimes, these sensations can be painful. Paresthsias are also associated with peripheral neuropathy, chemotherapy drugs, multiple sclerosis and migraine. Many common FMS treatments can help alleviate paresthesia-related pain, including selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs) and serotonin norepinephrine reuptake inhibitors (SNRIs). Some people also have good luck with vitamin B12, capsaicin cream, massage and acupuncture.

My Own Fibromyalgia Pain Categories

Once again, the following categories are not medically recognized -- they're things I came up with to fill a gap in how we classify different types of pain. They're intended to help you track symptoms, gauge effectiveness of treatments, and to let you know you're not alone.

Knife in the Voodoo Doll

Sometimes, out of nowhere, I'll get an intense stabbing pain that seems to cut through my body. I've also described this as a fireplace poker in the ribs or being impaled on a spear. For me, the voodoo doll pain is often my body's early warning system -- it tells me that I need to stop what I'm doing and rest. Other times, I have no idea why it strikes. I generally get this pain in my chest or abdomen, but some people say they get it in other parts of the body. It can be so intense that it can double me over and make it hurt to breathe. It usually goes away as after a few minutes. I have no idea how to prevent this type of pain, other than by pacing myself. (If only I could find that darned doll....)

Randomly Roving Pain

This is one of those things that reminds you FMS just doesn't make a lot of sense. A lot of us get pain that migrates around the body, sometimes moving between certain places, sometimes striking in new areas. If you also have myofascial pain syndrome, it can be especially hard to tell randomly roving pain from the referred pain caused by trigger points. For me, this pain responds to treatments about the same as hyperalgesia.

Sparkler Burns

One 4th of July, when I was young, I hung onto a sparkler for too long and some sparks hit my hand. They caused tiny pin-pricks of pain almost identical to sensations I now get regularly. They make me jump, and scratching them triggers tactile allodynia. These sensations usually just last a few seconds. I have no idea what triggers them or how to prevent them.

Rattled Nerves

Most people won't understand why I call this a type of pain, but I'm sure most fibromites will get it. Certain things tend to get my whole body on edge, jumpy, and feeling rattled. It makes me ache all over, and sometimes I get nauseous, dizzy and anxious. Things that rattle my nerves generally involve sensory or emotional overload, such as: Certain sounds (repetitive, loud, shrill, grating) Visual chaos (crowds, flashing lights, busy patterns) Stressful situations (busy traffic, confrontations, fibro-fog induced confusion or disorientation)

When my nerves are rattled, I try to get out of the situation as quickly as possible and relax, preferably somewhere quiet. "

Deb's Comments

My reaction to light causes me close my eyes until my eyes acclimate. Sunglasses help, but my eyes must still adjust to the light. Sounds with higher pitches hurt my head and ears. I find my shoulders drawing up to my ears. As my fatigue increases, sounds are more irritating.

Many people together in a small space, all talking and moving around create anxiety. I know they are having a great time and I want to enjoy them, but I must remove myself. Other times, sitting on the outside of the commotion works.

If plans change without my control, anxiety is immediate. When I'm exhausted, my Fibro Fog is very active and if I'm faced with making a decision, I can't. My husband understands and jumps in to make the decision, for which I am grateful.

I come from a family of huggers. We hug when we arrive and we hug when we leave. I remember being sad that by receiving a hug from family or friends that it hurt so bad. I informed them to be gentle, but it is difficult for them to understand or to remember. Once I was put on medication, the sensitivity was masked. Depending on the strength of the hug, I still feel the pain but I rate it at a 3 instead of a 10. I'm a happy girl with this sensitivity at this point. .the drugs are working. :D

Hot and cold sensitivities...what stinkers they are! I have the most trouble with hot weather days. My FM is in "red flag form" on hot days. I can bundle on cold days, but if the wind is blowing, I'm in trouble.

Sometimes I get goose bumps on my arms and legs for what seems like no reason. I'm not cold, no wind is blowing on me. The weather is not an issue. They do not hurt nor last long. My husband calls this sensation a "cold snap."

I'd enjoy hearing from others about their symptoms. I realized early on that by support from FM/CF sufferers, I learn that something I'm experiencing, is actually a FM/CF symptom, especially if it is not a commonly talked about symptom. An example of this is when I complained about having alot of phlegm. I now know this can be a Fibromyalgia symptom. I'm having flu symptoms in the form of aches, back of the throat swelling and additional Fibromyalgia pain. Hoping for a better day tomorrow.

A Memorable Day

What a memorable day for me. Not only is it a day to remember the September 11th tragedies, but also the day my Mom passed on in 1995.

My heart breaks every time the 9-11 events come to my mind, which is daily. The destruction a few caused to so many people and their families and friends. I pray the cruelty can come to an end in my life time. I don't have much time left so they better hurry.

It's been 14 years since my Mom passed on. Doesn't seem like that long ago. I stayed with her on her last night and she passed away around 7:30 am. She had Alzheimers and was in a care facility in Forest Grove, Oregon. It was a hard drive back to Astoria that day. Once I got a quick shower, Dwain, Heather and I drove to Tillamook to meet with my Dad and brothers to make funeral arrangements. That was our first time to be involved in the arrangement process..WOW, that was tuff.

On a happier note...my grandsons Patrick and Joshua will have their first jr. high football game of the season on Saturday. Patrick will be the QB and Joshua will be a wide receiver. I figure it will be like playing catch in the back yard! :D

Tuff Day

Today has been a tuff day. I treaded this morning. After lunch I took a nice nap and was able to accomplish a few things. I've hurt more today.

I realized my mind was stressing over several situations I need to make decisions on and a few chores I wanted to accomplish. Probably why I was hurting more. I tried to let the stressors go, but they kept creeping back.

Watched opening night of NFL football. Great game!

30 Things About My Invisible Illness You May Not Know

This has been going around. I thought I would benefit from completing the questions as much as others would benefit from reading.

30 Things About My Invisible Illness You May Not Know

1. The illness I live with is: Fibromyalgia and Chronic Fatigue

2. I was diagnosed with it in the year: 2001

3. But I had symptoms since: Most of my life, although they showed up more intense in 1995 and stayed.

4. The biggest adjustment I’ve had to make is: Accepting my limitations.

5. Most people assume: I feel well because I'm on my feet. Also they say I sound well when I talk. I should've been an actress!

6. The hardest part about mornings are: First working out the stiffness by stretching and moving. Then trying to think WHAT to fix for breakfast. I wish I didn't have to worry about it. But I must eat before taking my medication.

7. My favorite medical TV show is: House

8. A gadget I couldn’t live without is: My computer is my connection to family and friends.

9. The hardest part about nights are: When I am awaken and can't get back to sleep. The next day I am more exhausted than usual and my Fibromyalgia pain level is increased

10. Each day I take 11 prescription pills. I also take 15 OTC pills a day. All of which I feel are important to getting through my day. This does not count pain medication I have for use when needed.

11. Regarding alternative treatments I: Am open. I appreciate my chiropractic treatments and have had massage. Would like to try Acupuncture.

12. If I had to choose between an invisible illness or visible I would choose: Visible so others would be more understanding...most people are visual and forget, because they can't see, that I am in constant pain from head to toe, literally.

13. Regarding working and career: I miss work. Never expected I would say that. I felt like I did my job and related to people well. For the most part I felt accomplished.

14. People would be surprised to know: That I am on Social Security Disability (SSD). I'm not proud that I can't work. But appreciate being able to receive SSD to help with expenses.

15. The hardest thing to accept about my new reality has been: That I have a new reality. That my life has changed drastically.

16. Something I never thought I could do with my illness that I did was: Feeling as I do, I never thought I could push myself to accomplish what I do in a day. I would have expected I would lay myself down.

17. The commercials about my illness: I'm glad commercials are being made about FM. I wish there were more options for FM/CF sufferers and more information provided in the commercials.

18. Something I really miss doing since I was diagnosed is: Hiking. To even be able to go up slight inclines. To have stamina for the entire day.

19. It was really hard to have to give up: stamina

20. A new hobby I have taken up since my diagnosis is: Reading, blogging

21. If I could have one day of feeling normal again I would: Take my grandkids to Disneyland and be able to enjoy the whole day without fatigue and pain.

22. My illness has taught me: To enjoy small accomplishments and to appreciate the simple things in life.

23. Want to know a secret? One thing people say that gets under my skin is: "You look great, you must be feeling better." NOPE!

24. But I love it when people: Will sit and visit with me rather than insisting we need to go somewhere.

25. My favorite motto, scripture, quote that gets me through tough times is: Not coming to me right now...fibro fog!

26. When someone is diagnosed I’d like to tell them: It is important to have a good doctor who will direct you to the right medication. To know that communication with other FM and/or CF sufferers is an important support system.

27. Something that has surprised me about living with an illness is: How much time it consumes.

28. The nicest thing someone did for me when I wasn’t feeling well was: Make me a cup of tea. Tell me when I needed to rest when I was trying to push myself. He was taking care of me.

29. I’m involved with Invisible Illness Week because: I would like others to have a better understanding of invisible illnesses and to understand me a little better.

30. The fact that you read this list makes me feel: You are interested in what I have to say about my FM/CF

Find out more about National Invisible Chronic Illness Awareness Week and the 5-day free virtual conference with 20 speakers Sept 14-18, 2009 at http://invisibleillnessweek.com/?p=2301.

Trip is Over

We arrived in Wallowa this afternoon. Good to be here. Got several loads of "stuff" transferred from the "little house" to the "big house." Will finish tomorrow.

We had a great two weeks on the road. Only downer was my cousin Natalie's death. Although we will miss her daily, her pain is relieved and that is positive.

We took two days on our drive across the state of Oregon. We did not take the Fruit Loop, like I would have liked. Sometimes the driver takes "driver's privilege" and doesn't always stop when I would like to stop. Frustrating. We did discuss it. Now we will see what happens next time the situation arises. Accomplished several errands in the Portland area then traveled to Rufus. Rufus is our usual overnight stop. We park on Army Corps of Engineers land along the Columbia River Gorge. There was a kite boarder and many kite surfers. Colorful and fun to watch. Took photos, but have not downloaded yet. Had a great night sleep. Woke up, read for about 40 minutes then got up to start the day. Had breakfast then took my cup of tea and Dwain took his coffee and we walked along the river for awhile. Took a few photos.

Sunday, Sunday, Sunday...Football, Football, Football

It's Sunday and football is on, BUT I'm not near a television! I enjoy following football. Always next week!

One think (thing...darn fibro fog!) FM/CF has taught me is to be ok when something doesn't work or pan-out...tomorrow is another day. Let it go and I WILL BE OK. Some days are harder than others to get that through my thick skull, but it has slowed me down to just go on rather than dwell on a frustration.

A thankful moment for Fibromyalgia and Chronic Fatigue? :-)

I'm Back!

Well, a few days turned into 10 days!

We have had a busy ten days...class reunion, visiting friends and family and a death in our family.

Our 40th high school class reunion was great fun. NKN Class of 1969 rocks! We visited from breakfast through late evening. To sit and talk all day is exhausting. My legs were cramping and jumping. When I started getting dizzy and walking funny, I had to call it a day. So nice to see our high school friends. There are a handful I am in touch with regularly. But others, I haven't seen in 40 years! Most were heavier, have more gray hair or balding. Decided we want to meet in two years when we all turn 60 rather than wait the usual five years. Can't believe we are getting this old. There is an urgency about getting to this age, like you better hurry and do what you want to do. But there is also a calm and relaxing feeling, as you have led a good, full life. I'm proud of what Dwain and I have accomplished as a couple and individually. Many of our classmates are getting ready to retire. A few have already retired, like us. Most have grandchildren.

After the class reunion we stayed with friends in Seaside. Dwain took photos of Marie's dahlias. Beautiful colors. We were able to visit with mutual friends, John and Mary. The next day we stayed at Fort Stevens State Park. We had a wonderful dinner and visit with old neighbors, Gary and Kay and their kids, Rita and Tim. We will see Gary and Kay when we return to Arizona this winter.

Then we were off to spend two days with Adam, Carrie and Lyla. Between the warm weather, an 11 month old granddaughter and visiting...I was spent. But wouldn't change my time with them. It was the best! I was lucky to take two naps with Lyla. We were both happy to wake up smiling at each other. Two naps in one day!!! While there, received word that my cousin, Natalie, passed away from breast cancer. She was only 50 years old. Her battle was long. My heart is broken. I have 52 first cousins on my Dad's side of the family and Nat was our first loss of my generation. Instead of returning to Wallowa as planned, we turned our RV around and returned to the Oregon coast.

Thursday was a quiet day for us, which we needed. That evening Dwain's Dad and Lenora brought pizza for dinner...very good. Friday we attended an evening of music at the Garibaldi Fire Hall. Dennis played the violin and Dwain his harmonica. Today we picked up prescriptions and groceries. I attended my cousin Shannon's bridal shower. Sunday is a family gathering at cousins, Steve and Genene's. Always a good time. The time with family helps the healing of loosing Natalie.

On Monday we will start our journey back to Wallowa. Looking forward to seeing Matt, Heather, Patrick and Joshua. Patrick and Joshua are playing football. Excited to watch their games.

Also excited about getting back to my comfy chair. :-)

Oregon Coast

Off this am for the Oregon coast to attend our 40th high school class reunion. It's an 8 hour drive, but we will make it a 2 day drive. Nice not to be in the car 8 hours. Will also visit family and friends, including our granddaughter, Lyla. Lyla is getting ready to walk by herself. She is walking around things.

Will be off line for several days.

Wallowa Lake Lodge

Had a wonderful evening yesterday. Friends from the coast were staying at Wallowa Lake Lodge. We met about 4 pm and took the tram up Mt. Howard, elevation 8,200'. Gorgeous views! At the top there are multiple hiking trails of various distances. Unfortunately, they were all be uphill. I had a tuff time, but managed what I would. There is also a small eating establishment at the top. I would like to return and spend a morning on top, having lunch before coming down. We had about a half hour before our dinner reservation. Velda and I went to their room to wash up and have girl chatter. Dwain and John had a beer and visited downstairs in the lodge lobby. Our dinner was amazing. Although costly, there was more food than we could eat. I had giant tiger prawns, Velda had trout, John, chicken and Dwain had a steak. We all had a dinner salad, warm bread, baked potato and steamed seasonal veggies, mostly squashes and peppers. WOW! It was very good. We had coffee and tea after dinner and visited. Retired to the lodge's lobby for more visiting. Dwain and I probably over stayed our welcome. The lodge is old. They have kept the integrity of the decor.

On a side note...The doctor's office has not returned my refill ok to the pharmacy for my Neurotin. I left the refill at the pharmacy on Thurs. This is now Tues. The pharmacy will resend this am. Because it was not ready to pick up on Saturday, I've stretched what I had to get me through 'til Monday afternoon. Very disappointed when it wasn't ready. I had a couple in my purse that I keep with me so took those last night. I had one for this morning. However, I am to take two. So have been stretching this medication since Saturday. I will be glad to be back on my regular dose.

You are between a rock and a hard place, because the insurance company won't let you refill unless you are close to 30 days since the last refill. Then you need to wait for the doctor's office to ok it. Frustrating...

NEVER write at night

I should NEVER write at night when I'm exhausted and my Fibromyalgia pain is worse.

I'm OK

Thought I better say I'm OK after my last confusing rant. I can't figure out why I'm all of a sudden spilling what I'm drinking. And I'm not drinking alcohol! Guess I will need to see if it continues.

I'm A Klutz!

I'M A KLUTZ! This morning I went to sit in my chair and sloshed the glass of water I was carrying. That may not sound so bad, but I've been sloshing for 3 days. Maybe I need a tippy cup like a two year old. I've always been a klutz, but not with the liquid I'm carrying. My klutzing experience is usually tripping over things. My youngest son Adam, said he could put one shoe in the middle of an empty gym and I would trip on it. He's right.

Are my hands shaking and I don't realize it? I had tremors with my head and hands at one time, but they were infrequent and haven't realized for several months. Guess I better be aware of what my hands are doing when I spill. Are you visualizing this? Can our conscious be aware of what our hands are doing when we are carrying something? I think I'm going crazy! Don't we subconsciously

My balance is not good. Maybe writing IS therapeutic! Maybe it is my balance and not shaky hands. Crap! Now I need to remember to watch my hands and my balance.

My Fibromyalgia won't let me multi-task anymore, writing and thinking! And thinking about this is hurting my head. Bye...

Busy Week

We've had a busy couple of days. My Aunt and Uncle are in Wallowa County for five days. They are considering retiring in the area in a few years. Today we spent the day together. Dwain and I showing them areas in the Lostine, Enterprise and Joseph. I think they are favoring the Enterprise area. We returned to Heather's in the afternoon for a visit. After Matt got off work, we all headed to Enterprise for Mexican dinner. Dinner was great, but the company was the best! They will have some alone/rest time on Thursday then we will spend Friday together before they leave on Saturday.

I did fine this morning, but sure needed a lay-down time this afternoon and evening and unable to do so. Being home on Thursday will be a good catch-up day. I'll be able to have a nap. My head is hurting pretty bad tonight from over doing it. Also have the "creepy crawlies" big time. Sleep will help.

Off to bed now.

Great Party!

Party was great fun. Music was great too. I enjoyed it so much, I couldn't sit in my chair...on my feet I went. I danced with an old friend and my grandsons. Didn't get to bed 'til 11. My legs were hurting bad last night so knew I would be miserable today and I was right. I had a good sleep last night, but exhausted today. I've had two, one hour naps and one that was forty minutes. I'm having trouble keeping my eyes open. I hope I sleep tonight.

The music was provided by Frank Carlson. Frank is located in Baker City, Oregon. There are samples of his music on his website at fcproductionsinc.com. Take a listen.

Having a Good Day

I've had two good days. Today I accomplished a few things in the am. Had a good visit with an old friend. Put baked beans in the oven for potluck. Had an good hour nap. Am now checking email, Facebook, Twitter and posting a short note.

Our friend, Debbie is turning 50 and there will be a potluck, live music and good fun. Looking forward to lots of laughter. I am thankful that the party is in the RV park where we are staying so I can run (interesting word!) home to rest or go to bed if needed. Not dependent on "WHEN" Dwain is ready to go. I am lucky as there hasn't been many times that I'm tired and need to go home and he is not ready. Think I'll keep him!

Hope everyone is having a good weekend.

Medication

Thought I would share with you the medications I take and maybe you would like to share yours. There are so many different meds now, some prescription, others OTC or herbal.

The prescriptions I take are Effexor XR, Neurotin, Flexeril, Trazodone and Lisinopril. The Effexor raised my blood pressure. Dr. said she would rather put me on a blood pressure medication than try to take me off the Effexor.

The OTC items I take for FM are Guaifenesin, Zantac, Lysine and Citrucel.

I also take a multi vitamin, calcium, Evening Primrose, Asprin (81 mg).

They tell me that I'm on a good program. That this is as good as I will feel by taking these meds. I do feel much better than before I started the meds. But . . . I wish I would feel normal again rather than the new normal . . . know what I mean?

A Good Day

I've had a good FM day. Nice to have one periodically. I didn't get alot done. Did alot of sitting. I sure don't want to sit all day in order to have a good day. But may be relegated to that. Hope not.

I have two zuchinnis to bake into bread in the morning. Adam, our youngest son and his family have a large garden and they have shared produce. Little Lyla, our 10 month old granddaughter has had a cough and that is getting better. Daughter, Heather and her son, Patrick, 13, are at Rodeo Bible Camp. Oldest son, Seth, lives in Chicago and we will see him over the Christmas holiday. Josh, 11, was here. We did alot of talking today. I love what my grandsons share with me!

Josh is here!

I have a permanent smile on my face today. Grandson Josh, 11, is here for the day. Grandchildren wear me out. My fatigue and Fibromyalgia pain are increased because of the activity, but I'll take it on the chin any day. My grandkids are the good parts of my children without the daily work of having children. Make sense? Rite now we are watching Tom & Jerry before turning the TV off. Dwain and Josh may take an over night hike. That will be nice for them. The advantage for me is I don't need to worry about cooking meals. Everyone wins!

Final Gifts

I want to recommend a book I enjoyed after my Dad passed on. The title is Final Gifts. It was written by Maggie Callanan and Patricia Kelley. The ladies are Hospice Nurses. It's a wonderful read if you have lost or are loosing a family member or friend. The book gives you insight to the death process.

Here is a poem written by Debbie Short, Hospice Nurse in Tillamook County, Oregon. Debbie shared this poem with our family the day before my Mother-in-Law passed away. We included her poem in Mom's funeral pamphlet. I thank you Deb, once again for sharing your heart.

"My Collection

Folks tend to save things all their lives

Collecting various stuff

From teaspoons to toasters, to teddy bears

To outrageous Hollywood fluff.

Others covet old maps and books

And pour over each one with zest

Or sigh, reading brittle love letters of old

Timeless messages to those cherished best.

I too, have keepsakes that are dear to me

That would mean nothing to somebody else

Things, that when I am gone, will be gone too

Or sit draped in dust on a shelf.

But the collections that mean the most to me

Are painstakingly built over time;

Friends that are clearly hand-picked by God

And family ties that gently still bind.

My collection surely won't fetch a price

On the market of world-woven pleasures

But here, in my heart, it is priceless indeed

A treasured gift, with worth beyond measure."

May you enjoy your family and friends. Keep in touch often. I have been blessed with my collection of family and friends and they are my greatest supporters, whether we are talking about my FM or life situations.

How Positive R U?

I work VERY hard to stay positive during my day. To be honest, by dinner-time my positive attitude is beginning to fade. My patience is short. My fatigue has increased, which increases my Fibro Fog and my pain. If I have an issue that kicks my anxiety into gear prior to dinner-time, I'm in trouble the rest of the day. When I'm feeling really rotten, I'm usually quiet. I need to work harder when I open my mouth to be nice. I'm sure everyone has these experience that has constant chronic pain and fatigue.

Because I have been dealing with Fibromyalgia continuously for 6 1/2 years, I have come to a place that when pity party thoughts enter my head, I dismiss them or replace with something I need to do. Depression would be easy to entertain if I didn't constantly work at being positive.

I try not to talk about my FM symptoms in a complaining manner. Who wants to listen to me complain every time I open my mouth. On the other hand, when I say I can't participate in something, I'm usually asked to explain why. I do not enjoy explaining my limitations. Reminds me what I am missing. There again, is a pity party comin' on...gotta work to bring positive thoughts into my life. Because I know when I can't participate and am accepting of the joy of watching.

Shoes

I've added a link to The Walking Company. The Walking Company is a shoe store that was recommended by a Physical Therapist I saw about a year ago. In fact, she gave me a 10% discount coupon. One thing I appreciated about the salesman was that he "talked to me." He wanted to know if I knew the style of shoe I was looking for, what would I be using the shoe for, such as dress, work, recreation, did I have any known problems with my feet. I explained I was looking for a shoe that I could mostly use with my jeans, but also casual slacks. Also that I had Fibromyalgia which included balance problems and neuropathy. He directed me to the Clark's Unstructured brand of shoes and gave me the option of only a few shoes. None of the shoes had raised heels. They were all level, with good soles. assume he would have sold me any shoe I wanted but I took his advice and tried on the suggested shoes and selected a pair from his advice. I have been extremely happy with the shoes. I would recommend The Walking Company to people with FM and anyone looking for shoes.

We Are Fibro!

I have come upon the site of WeAreFibro.org. I have been unable to spend much time there. Will need to do it in increments of time. They have pages of communities, including one for Grandparents with Fibromyalgia. I am a Grandma so realize the challenges FM imposes. I am very thankful for my older grandchildren who always remember why I can't do something and notice when I am hurting. My youngest, who is only 10 months old will grow up with it too. They also have forums. I read a few this morning and gained interesting information.

Check em out!

Forgot My AM Fibromyalgia Medication!

Josh now has 3 blue ribbons, 2 red and 1 white. Proud of this young man for his accomplishments. He has worked hard to learn new skills and building a relationship with Badger.

I rode into the fair activities with Josh and his Mom, our daughter, Heather this morning. They picked me up at 6:30 am. I take my AM Fibromyalgia medication after breakfast so took them with me. I planned to eat breakfast at the fairgrounds in the 4-H Snack Shack. Because of the different scheduling to my day, I forgot to take my meds. The day was heating up and my body was hurting so didn't identify it largely from no meds instead of the heat. I got home at 1 pm. Went to take my after lunch meds and realized my forgetfulness. Since my FM became a full-time nusiance, I've had trouble when my regular schedule is altered, remembering usual plans. When plans are changed my anxiety usually kicks in. I took the meds and laid down.

Anyone else have forgetfulness or anxiety when your schedule is altered? I'm sure they do.

Blue Ribbon!

My Josh brought home a blue ribbon for showmanship. This was his first 4-H fair experience. He also did judging, but don't know how he did yet.

The weather was hot, but a nice breeze blew. I kept in the shade and did well. As expected, fatigue was a factor, but the heat wasn't as bad as it has been.

Back to the fairgrounds by 7 am and a full day of competition. This time Josh will be ridding.

Off to the Fair!

Grandson, Josh, 11, competes today at the Wallowa County 4-H Fair with his buddy, Badger. This is Josh's first year in 4-H.

Temps have been at 100 and expected to be the same today with possible thunder and lightening. I'm preparing myself to watch his events today and tomorrow. I have a fan/mister and hope that helps. The fan puts out alot of wind by itself. The grandstands are covered, for which I am equally thankful.

Weather Changes/Pain Changes

I was reading a Facebook blog today and was happy to discover others that were experiencing increased Fibro pain because of the hot summer weather. I haven't talked to anyone who had increased pain because of the hot weather. Everyone I've talked to feels better in the summer and worse when the rainy season begins. I thought I felt better during the cooler weather because I was raised on the cool, Oregon coast. But it seems it is the luck of the draw, a part of my journey.

It's a Hot Summer!

It's been a week since my last post. We've been on the road, traveling between NW Oregon to NE Oregon. Visited our park hosting friends, Sonny and Mary in Ilwaco, WA. Also our son and family, Adam, Carrie and baby Lyla, who is almost 10 months, in Ridgefield, WA. Very much enjoy our visits and always hate to leave. However, it was 101 and 102 the two days we were in Ridgefield. It was 95 when we arrived in Wallowa, OR. Heat is not my body's friend. Most FM suffers feel better in warm weather. Not I! It not only lugs me down, but my Fibromyalgia pain level increases. Anyone else have more trouble with heat than cold weather?

I have another book to recommend. "The Fibromyalgia Help Book". The authors are I. Jon Russell, MD, Ph.D and Jenny Fransen, RN. This was the first FM book I acquired. I read it before I was diagnosed. When I went to the Rheumatologist, I told him I had read the book, thought I had FM and wanted to be checked for it. Of course, he ruffled a bit. No one likes to be "told" especially a doctor. But sometimes we are so desperate for a diagnosis, our research provides what we think is the answer. In my case, I fit the information. I needed a doctor to confirm my suspicion and help me. Help me he did. Dr. Valentine practiced in Astoria, Oregon. To my sadness, he passed away four months after my diagnosis. He got me on medication and a good start to feeling better. I wish I could have learned more from him.

Not Disciplined

I'm not a disciplined person. I have trouble sticking to my nutritional plan. I can't bring myself to give in to my tired body and rest as I should. When I do give in, I feel like I'm being lazy, especially when I can see so much to do. What is the answer? How do I become more disciplined? I pray for guidance daily.

Nutritional Response Testing

As promised, the program my Chiropractor has me on is Nutritional Response Testing (NRT). I hope I can explain my experience adequately. You know we have trouble using the correct words.

The price of the testing was $30, which I thought was reasonable. He put the back of my hand in the palm of his hand and asked me to match his resistance. When I could not, it showed I was weak in the area being tested. He tested me for metals, chemicals and bacteria. I tested positive for metals and bacteria. He said the metals could be from my teeth fillings.

He also checked my organs. Just about every organ was sluggish. I would describe it like a filter that was plugged. He said once the metals and bacteria were removed, the organs will work at a higher level.

He also checked for food allergies. I show signs of allergies to wheat, oats, eggs and milk. I was to stay off of these foods plus sugar. The sugar feeds the bacteria and keeps it in my system. I had to stay off natural sugar as well as refined. That's hard with all the yummy fruits in season.

I went back to Dr. John in a week. I had lost 10 lbs. The bacteria and metals had cleared from my system and my organs showed improvement on their working abilities. However, I did not feel better. He allowed me to start eating natural sugar...yah...fruit! When I return to Wallowa he may start reintegrating the foods I tested positive for allergies, one at a time.

I did well for the second week. But the week of the family reunion (week 3) I could not keep up the multi-tasking of getting ready for the reunion and eating correctly. I was aware when I was eating something I should not, so ate smaller portions. I maintained my 10 lbs of weight until the 2 days after the reunion. I gained 3 lbs. So tomorrow (Wednesday), I will go back to resisting what is supposedly bad for me.

Dr. John did put me on supplements. 3x a day I take an enzyme for food digestion, 1/2 tablet of Iodine for my Thyroid, 1 Calcium, and Tuna Omega 3, 3x a day. He asked me to stop taking my Multivitamin and Calcium. He wants to test them for lead before I continue with the over the counter supplements. I will do that when I return to Wallowa County. Apparently OTC vitamins can be laden with filler, which can include lead.

Another question he asked was if I had scars, ones I would have needed stitches. I have one on my thumb and my episiotomy scar. He tests the scars to see if they are "active." This means if they had healed. My thumb was healed, but not the episiotomy. I have Wheat Germ Oil to apply to the scar each night. I have trouble remembering to apply the oil. I probably miss 2-3 nights a week. Interesting to me that my thumb scar was a surgery done about four years ago. The episiotomy is 35 years old!

Will keep you updated on this journey. If I ONLY loose weight, I'm still ahead. But wouldn't it be great if it helped my Fibro and Chronic Fatigue?

I'm Exhausted!

What a week. Our family reunion is over. We had a great time. Connected with new and old family members. That being said...my Fibromyalgia pain is on over drive, my right ear aches and I was ready for a power nap, two hours after waking this morning. I do have laundry to do and that involves going up and down stairs. I can't use the washer/dryer in our RV as we are parked in a back field. The uneven ground has been a problem too. Makes my legs and hips work harder. Some would say it is good exercise, but for me it is the wrong kind of exercise. So will only do a couple loads today, otherwise will be in my chair!

As I write, there is a pack of coyotes on the edge of the tree line. They are howling and running back and forth and are loud. Not here long, but they stirred up the neighborhood dogs.

I will write more about the nutritional program I previously mentioned later today or tomorrow.

Arriving on the Oregon Coast

We've been on the road for almost a week. It has been a good time. One night beside the Columbia River in the Gorge, Two nights in Ridgefield, WA and two nights at Cape Disappointment on the SW Washington coast. The Gorge stop was peaceful and relaxing. At Ridgefield, we spent time with Adam and family. Lots of quality time with granddaughter Lyla, who is 9 months old. Our park hosting friends from California, Sonny and Mary, were a delight to spend time with at Cape Disappointment.

My Fibro flare is getting better. Not sure if it is because of the program Dr. John has me on, it has run its course or the fact that we are on the NW Oregon coast. I always feel better here. Time will tell as we travel back to the east side of the state. Between the heat and elevation, I have more health issues there. When I return, if my body hurts more, then I know it is the weather here.

We are preparing for a family reunion this weekend. Dwain's Aunt and cousin arrived today to help. We had a great visit tonight.

Mind and Body Savers

To follow are a few mind and body savers that I've learned that help me deal with Fibromyalgia Disease and Chronic Fatigue. As you can tell from my past posts, I don't always practice what I preach...

Create a weekly or monthly meal planner. Then remember to take what you need from the freezer right after breakfast. When I remember in the afternoon that I didn't get whatever from the freezer, it's usually too late for that meal plan. Then anxiety sets in...you get the picture.

When you cook a meal, prepare extra to freeze for another meal. Prepare whatever you can towards the meal at your best time of the day. Mine is the morning.

Invest in ANY gadget that makes your day easier, whether it's an electric can opener, lift chair, lap top computer, cushioned mat for your floor or an electric lap blanket to name a few. I get cold and can't get warm. My husband, Dwain, calls it a "cold snap." Doesn't take long for the blanket to do it's job. If you are relaxing on the bed, couch or chair, reading or watching TV then you are multi-tasking. WOW...didn't think you could do that anymore did ya?

It is difficult for me to lift my arms above my head. I have a very short haircut. Saves the arms when I shampoo and I no longer need a blow dryer or curling iron.

It's nice to have a recliner or a chair with an ottoman. I also recommend arms on your recliner or chair. You need a place to rest your arms, otherwise they are constantly tense.

When traveling, stop often to stretch EVERYTHING. I change my sitting positions often and it involves putting one foot or another up. My left uses the hump on the floor between the driver and passenger. My right will rest on a door pocket.

Exercise is helpful. Find what you enjoy.

Rest as you need to...don't put it off, you will only feel worse.

Find the simple joys in life :>)

Delegate, Delegate, Delegate!

Don't be afraid to ask for help

Try my suggestions or modify to fit your lifestyle.

Ready to Travel

We are preparing to travel to the Oregon coast tomorrow. Fibromyalgia aside, this means tiding up the RV, putting items away items that make our house a home.

It takes me about a half hour to prepare the inside of the RV for travel. However, that is pushing myself too far. Because of my Fibro, I start a couple days ahead of time, accomplishing a few things each day. I stand to gain, if I would practice this procedure in my daily life, not just at travel times.

Independence Day 2009

July 4 was a day of family and friends, music, good food including birthday cake AND pie, and fireworks. We planned to spend the day at Wallowa Lake but it was so hot we stayed home. We did go to the lake for the fireworks display in the evening. It was a long day.

Today was a hard day. Several days without enough rest has got me down again...when am I going to learn? I couldn't be up long before I'd get the shakes.

Also this food allergy program is not getting easier. I have an appointment with Dr. John on Tuesday. I'm hoping to integrate some foods back into my diet. Breakfast is my hardest meal to figure out what to eat. The last two mornings I've had a small steak (very small and thin) and a handful of shrimp. Figured protein would be my best bet. I do fill full after eating. I'd sure like to have a piece of toast with avacado or peanut butter and to have a better idea for small snacks.

I probably shouldn't have started the program with Dr. John until I got myself back on my feet.

The good news is that I've lost 8 pounds!